Need suggestions..nephews/sister..terrified of dogs

[fancychicken]

I am not sure of where to put this so I just put it here. It doesn't really have anything to do with dog behavior, but wiht people behavior. My sister and both of her sons ( my fabulous nephews) are absolutely PETRIFIED of dogs. My sister is her own deal, and i think she has emmulated this behavior in my nephews. I would like to know if anyone has been in this type of situation, and how you handled it. I would love for my nephews to be able to visit, and I have taken steps with Shamous, not for just general manners , but specifically with my nephews in mind. No barking, no jumping, no chewing / play biting, anything that would upset them and increase their fear. I was thinking about, teaching him a trick and then having my nephews "teach" him the same one, so they are proud of themselves for what they have done, and maybe not so afraid.

[flyndog]

Why is your sister afraid of dogs? Was she bitten in the past? How long has your relatives known Shamus? The more they are around him and learn what a nice, well-mannered dog he is (no jumping, no barking, no licking, leaving them alone), they will feel more comfortable around him. It doesn't do any good to try and convince them they have nothing to be afraid of. They need to come to that conclusion on their own and in their own time.

It's hard to believe, but even my 4.5 pound Yorkie is terrifying to people who are afraid of dogs. She has been a wonderful dog ambassador to one of my sister-in-laws who is afraid of dogs and to our terrified Chamber of Commerce director who had no choice but to learn to tolerate Cozy's visits while I attended meetings or worked on their website, or just dropped in to say hello. Both have learned to like Cozy. It took a year for the Chamber employee to learn to like Cozy! This is what worked for me.

Cozy has never met a human she doesn't love, so I had to teach her to stay away from and ignore fearful humans whenever she was around them. No greetings whatsoever. She is always at heel position during greetings. The cues became: "Cozy, *Sit*. (interupts greeting) *Leave* Sandy alone. She's *afraid* of dogs. *Leave* her alone. Good dog!"

Cozy knows Leave It means leave something alone. I phrase it that way for the people. By doing this, (1) I acknowledge their fear of dogs, and (2) assure them that she is under my control. To them, it seems like she understands everything I'm saying, understands that they are afraid and leaves them alone. The more you can put the humans at ease by demonstrating how smart, predictible, and well-behaved your dog is, the easier it is for the humans to feel comfortable around your dog. Of course what Cozy really understood was: "Cozy Sit. Leave. Leave. Good Dog". I speculate that she has learned that Afraid has some meaning for her in this context because she leaves the person alone the entire time we are together without being reminded to leave it. Certainly a fearful person smells and acts differently than most other people she meets and the only time she hears Afraid when I am talking to her is in that particular context.

Don't set your expectations too high. Your sister may never love your dog. But your nephew is young enough that he might still learn to be comfortable around dogs. When he is comfortable just being around Shamus, then show him how he can make Shamus do a trick.

Be patient. Humans can be hard to train.

[mrsgrubby]

I think helping them teach a trick is a good idea, or even just letting them give him treats.....provided he takes them gently from their hands.

[Jamilupine]

Wow Flyndog! What a great peice of psychology in your post!

The other thing you might want to consider, depending upon your relationship with your sister, is to seek some counseling (preferably from a cognitive/behaviorist) for her fear of dogs. They should provide her with a safe environment in which to face the least frightening aspecs of dogs, and move into her tolerating a real dog around her. However, she would only benefit from this if SHE Wants to eliminate her fear.

As for the kids, if their main fear is learned, you may be able to introduce them to your nice calm friendly dog. However, you would probably make more progress if your sister isn't there to model the fear response. If you do manage to get your nephews to approach your dog, maybe you could even demonstrate the friendlyness of your dog from the "Safe" side of a sliding glass door until they feel ready to meet the dog.

good luck!