jealousy/sharing

fancychicken · 10-25-2006, 05:35 AM

Since getting Daisy I have been very careful not to flourish any extra attention on her, since Shamous is so very needy and possesive of me. My problem is that ANY attention Daisy gets Shamous is pushing her out of the way, climbing over her barking, Daisy snaps and growls (teeth showing) to get him to back off.

Same thing happens with toys or bones. It doesn't matter if Shamous has one as well (I always make sure the BOTH have something) Shamous wants what she has. He will bark in her face, try to take it away, which of course causes snapping and growling and sometimes a small fight will break out. I have tried making them both laydown in their spots with their toy or whatever. Shamous will take his for about 2 seconds, drop it and want what she has. It has gotten to the point where I am taking things away from both of them and putting it away. .

I unfortunately have no experience with how to handle this, so any input would be GREATLY appreciated.

mrsgrubby · 10-25-2006, 09:33 AM

In my opinon Shamous does not see you as "leader" he sees you as "his". This is very dangerous for all involved.

It sounds to me like you need to get him into training and get him to realize "he is yours" not the other way around.

You have to be able to decide what dog you are going to pet, what dog you want to give a treat to, etc.

If I am petty Jasmine and Violet runs over, I snap my fingers, point, and tell her to go lay down. I also dont' let Jasmine butt in on Violets time.

As far as bones and chew things, at this point I don't think you shoudl be giving them to them. Just keep them put away for now, as Shamous hasn't earned the right to have them.

If you want to give them a bone, take them on a long walk, make them heel and behave, and when you get home seperate them and give them a treat. But for the most part, I wouldnt give him chew things until he has gone through some training.

bigdoglover · 10-25-2006, 09:36 AM

I agree with Mrsgrubby.....with my pack, nobody gets toys "out in the open". Its just asking for issues. If one of them is getting "antsy", I will put them in their crate with a Kong with treats. Sometimes, all of them are in a crate with a toy. It lets them have it in peace and not stir up any issues. When I let them out, the toys get put away. Just the way I do things around this nuthouse! LOL

elegy · 10-25-2006, 11:51 AM

whenever there's aggression issues, i think your best bet is to get help in person. find a trainer, call your vet and ask for a referral to a behaviorist, whatever, but get help beyond that available on the internet.

but yes, i agree with mrsgrubby. both dogs need to learn that you do not belong to them and you can pet/pay attention to whatever dog you want. i'd pick up all the toys and bones pronto, and i'd start working both dogs in obedience. for the time being, i'd also stop giving pets/affection without it being earned.

c0_re · 10-25-2006, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsgrubby

In my opinon Shamous does not see you as "leader" he sees you as "his". This is very dangerous for all involved.

It sounds to me like you need to get him into training and get him to realize "he is yours" not the other way around.

You have to be able to decide what dog you are going to pet, what dog you want to give a treat to, etc.

Where is the bowing I'm not worthy smiley?

fancychicken · 10-26-2006, 05:29 AM

I have been removing ALL bones and toys and giving them to them in the evening, after a full day's running around, long walks and training. That was the only thing I could think of to do, so I guess I am on the right track there.

As for the attention, I guess I should have been more clear. There is NO aggression from either dog(just the one time), or(Just a correction from Daisy). Which, is not acceptable in my book anyway. When Daisy comes over for some attenion, I have started to use the "wait" command with Shamous, since he has a very clear understanding of this command. If Daisy snaps at him ALL petting stops. I get up and walk away and tell them both to go lay down.

AS far as Shamous thinking I belong to him, you all could very well be right. How do I reverse that? He's a big doofus 1 yr old, but he does obey, or should I say has had a

moment in the past few months and is starting to get things MUCH better.

Daisy on the other hand is EXTREMELY well behaved little girl

a nd I have noticed if I tell them both to do something, she is always the first to respond, then Shamous, after watching her very intently.

mrsgrubby · 10-26-2006, 06:10 AM

I think the best thing for Shamous would be an obedience class. not only will he learn to behave better, but it is a time to bond in a more healthy way. A way that says you are the leader and he is the follower. You will learn to better communicate with him. It would be a very positive thing for both of you.

I love having my dogs in class. I just signed Jasmine up for her 5 level of classes and we always get a better bond and better relationship with each other after spending an hour a week for 8 weeks alone together.

I would highly suggest you try to find a class.

10-25-2006, 05:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
fancychicken Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 823 Rep Power: 76	jealousy/sharing Since getting Daisy I have been very careful not to flourish any extra attention on her, since Shamous is so very needy and possesive of me. My problem is that ANY attention Daisy gets Shamous is pushing her out of the way, climbing over her barking, Daisy snaps and growls (teeth showing) to get him to back off. Same thing happens with toys or bones. It doesn't matter if Shamous has one as well (I always make sure the BOTH have something) Shamous wants what she has. He will bark in her face, try to take it away, which of course causes snapping and growling and sometimes a small fight will break out. I have tried making them both laydown in their spots with their toy or whatever. Shamous will take his for about 2 seconds, drop it and want what she has. It has gotten to the point where I am taking things away from both of them and putting it away. . I unfortunately have no experience with how to handle this, so any input would be GREATLY appreciated.

10-25-2006, 09:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
bigdoglover Giant Schnauzers Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: West-Central Illinois Posts: 3,624 Rep Power: 179	I agree with Mrsgrubby.....with my pack, nobody gets toys "out in the open". Its just asking for issues. If one of them is getting "antsy", I will put them in their crate with a Kong with treats. Sometimes, all of them are in a crate with a toy. It lets them have it in peace and not stir up any issues. When I let them out, the toys get put away. Just the way I do things around this nuthouse! LOL
	__________________ Glory and Greed will destroy the breed.

10-25-2006, 11:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
elegy Pit Bull Junky Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,073 Rep Power: 112	whenever there's aggression issues, i think your best bet is to get help in person. find a trainer, call your vet and ask for a referral to a behaviorist, whatever, but get help beyond that available on the internet. but yes, i agree with mrsgrubby. both dogs need to learn that you do not belong to them and you can pet/pay attention to whatever dog you want. i'd pick up all the toys and bones pronto, and i'd start working both dogs in obedience. for the time being, i'd also stop giving pets/affection without it being earned.
	__________________ thank you to everyone who supported me during blogathon. i was able to raise $453.60 for pit bull rescue central!

10-25-2006, 09:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
mrsgrubby Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 2,476 Rep Power: 146	In my opinon Shamous does not see you as "leader" he sees you as "his". This is very dangerous for all involved. It sounds to me like you need to get him into training and get him to realize "he is yours" not the other way around. You have to be able to decide what dog you are going to pet, what dog you want to give a treat to, etc. If I am petty Jasmine and Violet runs over, I snap my fingers, point, and tell her to go lay down. I also dont' let Jasmine butt in on Violets time. As far as bones and chew things, at this point I don't think you shoudl be giving them to them. Just keep them put away for now, as Shamous hasn't earned the right to have them. If you want to give them a bone, take them on a long walk, make them heel and behave, and when you get home seperate them and give them a treat. But for the most part, I wouldnt give him chew things until he has gone through some training.

10-26-2006, 05:29 AM	#6 (permalink)
fancychicken Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 823 Rep Power: 76	I have been removing ALL bones and toys and giving them to them in the evening, after a full day's running around, long walks and training. That was the only thing I could think of to do, so I guess I am on the right track there. As for the attention, I guess I should have been more clear. There is NO aggression from either dog(just the one time), or(Just a correction from Daisy). Which, is not acceptable in my book anyway. When Daisy comes over for some attenion, I have started to use the "wait" command with Shamous, since he has a very clear understanding of this command. If Daisy snaps at him ALL petting stops. I get up and walk away and tell them both to go lay down. AS far as Shamous thinking I belong to him, you all could very well be right. How do I reverse that? He's a big doofus 1 yr old, but he does obey, or should I say has had a moment in the past few months and is starting to get things MUCH better. Daisy on the other hand is EXTREMELY well behaved little girl a nd I have noticed if I tell them both to do something, she is always the first to respond, then Shamous, after watching her very intently.

10-26-2006, 06:10 AM	#7 (permalink)
mrsgrubby Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 2,476 Rep Power: 146	I think the best thing for Shamous would be an obedience class. not only will he learn to behave better, but it is a time to bond in a more healthy way. A way that says you are the leader and he is the follower. You will learn to better communicate with him. It would be a very positive thing for both of you. I love having my dogs in class. I just signed Jasmine up for her 5 level of classes and we always get a better bond and better relationship with each other after spending an hour a week for 8 weeks alone together. I would highly suggest you try to find a class.

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