Neeeeedy Dog! *Rant*

[boxerlover]

Oh Gosh....I have this dog for going on 3 years now and he has improved somewhat....but Geeze!!!!!!
He is sooooo neeeeedy it DRIVES ME NUTZ! SOme days I cannot stand it! He paws me and will sit and stare at me....HELP!
Some days he is better than others but it can really be pathetic!
Seriously pathetic!

[Alexis]

Is he a rescue dog? Most of my rescues have had seperation anxiety and need to be around me all of the time! How is he when you leave the house? Does he cry? Does he get destructive? My female GSMD is aso very needy. I try to distract her by giving her a granola filled bone or kong. I let her stay in the room with me, but I make sure that she is entertaining herself. After a few minutes, I go to her and give her some attention.
If you think it is becoming a problem, I might contact a behavioralist to help you out!
Good luck.... I know what it is like!

[Carrie]

Think and picture a time when he has done that lately. How are you responding to this pawing and so forth? You said he is staring at you. Are you looking at him in order to know he's staring or do you see him out of the corner of your eye?

Lyric tends to be demanding at times too, whining, pressing his chin down on my arm while I'm trying to play the piano or type. "Lyric, dang it! You just messed up my Bach Fugue!" I know why he has continued to do this from time to time. I'll tell you why. I can't help myself. That chin pinning my forearm down and those eyes looking at me.....to me look sooooo cute. That's the human reaction. But in reality, he's flat out being pushy. (I don't call that a wolf being dominant. It's just pushy to get his way) I have not been consistant in my response to that. Sometimes I look at him, stop what I'm doing, give him a pat (reward) and say, "a-h-h-h, aren't you cute?" (more reward) Sometimes I say, "Lyric, quit." (more attention) This is why he's not learned that little piece of ettiquite. What I should be doing is ignoring all that entirely, not looking at him, making eye contact, not doing or saying one thing. If I can't type because he's pushing my arm down, then I can turn my chair on it's pedestal and turn my back on him. I can try turing back and see if he just sits there without actively pressing me. He will at some point. Then and only then should I make a fuss over him. Or if turning away isn't enough...if he's being particularily pushy, I can put him out of the room and close the door, ignoring any whining. Finally, he'll give up and go lie down somewhere. If there is no payoff, the behavior will extinguish itself.

The "trainers" who jerk the collar, scold or any other negative thing, may get results in that the dog will stop but I find that the dog learns well and is happier without using active corrections. Often, if the "correction" isn't strong enough, or harsh enough, the dog doesn't recognize it as punishment, but instead, it's some kind of attention. Negative attention is still attention.

So, try ignoring him until he at some point stops....even if he only stops a part of what he's doing. If he improves, reward. Then when he gets that part better, up the ante. Don't reward until he stops doing the other part of what he's doing. For instance, if he's whining and pawing and staring and he happens to stop the pawing, reward. Do that for a while. Then again ignore the other behaviors until they stop. Then reward. This is called shaping behavior. You don't have to get perfection all at once.

Another thing you can do is walk out of the room, have him do a sit or a down and give him a kong with peanut butter. Try not to give it too soon lest he thinks you're rewarding him for what he was just doing....bugging you. When he's messing with that, tell him "good dog." And go back to what you were doing. Praise him. Let him know that you like what he's doing.

[Carrie]

As long as the dog is getting ample attention, exercise and is not bored all the time, has a job to do, then ignoring him for a while should be fine. No matter what, we can't give our dogs constant attention and it wouldn't be good for them if we did.

Dobermans are like that...very, very clingy and very, very pushy. They can be hard and at the same time, extremely sensative. I've never seen a more sensative dog that at the same time was sometimes hard to get through to. I've never had a more intelligent dog. He's creative. LOL. If I were heavy handed with this dog, I'd ruin him. As it is, he's turning into a lovely, happy, willing dog.

[Pugdawg1]

One of my rescues, little black Bentley, is needy. Very needy. Does not like me out of his sight, likes to be right next to me, touching me, he'll paw at me for attention. He was left on a highway, then wound up a shelter, then passed from family to family to family, so I guess if I were him, I'd have issues too. He's better these days. At one point, if I left the house, he'd poop or pee ON my bed. Thankfully, he hasn't done that in a good long time. All in all he's a darn good pug. Pugs in general are very people oriented, and I'm rather used to their constant desire for attention.. only rarely does he manage to get on my nerves, but hard to stay angry with that flat wrinkly black face looking at me.

[Carrie]

I like that Pugdog.

only rarely does he manage to get on my nerves, but hard to stay angry with that flat wrinkly black face looking at me.

It's true. Sometimes it's hard to resist the little dumplings. But then again, if they're driving you nutso, well then, some of that can be tempered.

I know....I've done it again...gone into too much detail. LOL.

[Rip's Girl]

Dakota is also very needy, and a lot like Carrie's boy, very pushy. However he's not needy so much as in needing affection (he gets plenty of that! He must get half a million kisses from me and my mom every day, and tons of head pats and nose-to-snoot talks with my dad) Noo, he always wants his toys thrown. If I'm on the computer, he will shove a toy onto the keyboard, and wait for me to throw it. I don't have to throw it far, just a few feet or into the air for him to catch it. But, it does get obnoxious sometimes. He gets soo pushy that he starts ramming the toy into my arm, dropping ALL of his toys into my lap, and then staring at me and going "wuff!" It isn't dominant behavior, as I'd always considered it to be, until I got Dakota. He just knows that if he drops a toy in my lap, it will usually be thrown, and he's turned it into a game.

I'm perfecting the command "go away" with him. Go away will not mean "Enough" (which signals the end of a game or a play session, and means it's time to be serious) but rather just to leave me alone for a while. He can still play with his toys by himself, or he can even sit 2" from me and stare at me quietly with a toy in his mouth, he just cannot be shoving anything in my lap, on my keyboard, or at my feet. He cannot be saying "wuff", "woo" or growling/whining. "Go away" simply means that I won't toss the toy for him, so he should give up.
The way I taught Dakota that was very easy, I just ignored his requests. If I said "Go away" and he pushed the toy into my hand, I'd move my hand. If he jumped in my lap to show me the toy, I'd stand up and walk away. If he shoved the toy in my face, I'd turn around. If he tried to stare me in the eye, I'd break eye contact. The point of the command was basically "do not disturb" and he caught on quite quickly.

[DarknessDivine]

Is this a boxer you're speking of? If so then get ready...they are very big affection hogs..lol...My Dracs is almost 3 yrs old and he is always by my side, when I'm on the PC he's laying at my feet, when I get up to go to another room he follows..if he wants to go to the bathroom he takes his paw and pats at me and whines, he usually does that sort of thing when he needs something and I'm not paying attention. He will have some days when he will literally moan behind me until I look at him so that he can show me what he wants, or just moan at me to do it..lol.... They are just like that...it can g et annoying, exspecially when I'm on the phone and he is moaning, people will hear him and laugh.
They love us and are very very needy breeds....

[boxerlover]

For some reason I was not notified that anyone had responded to this post??? Anyway...Thanks you guys. If nothing else I dont feel alone in this.
The dog is Jack he is the Yellow dog in my avatar...I adopted him he was 1 year old or so....he would squat and pee over everything.
He would approach you in a cowering position, SO we knew he had been somewhat abused. I did work on alot of confidence building with him, obedience training, walking and NILIF. I try to make him work for whatever it is he wants food, attention, playing and so forth.
Mostly at this point I find myself yelling at him "GO LAY DOWN"
If I catch him staring at me I will never back down until he looks away first...he has some dominance issues. He has growled at me and the children over bones and rawhides in the past. He no longer gets them! Although he displays no food aggression whatsoever.
If I push him away he seems to become even more needy!
It makes me sick! I get really pissed when he tries to sit on
me....that is unacceptable to me.

Whew!!! Sorry everyone!
Hey Dark.......by the way.....my Boxer is perfect! LOL! He is affectionate, loving, loyal, mild mannered, confident, never needy!

[gaddylovesdogs]

Dakota is also very needy, and a lot like Carrie's boy, very pushy. However he's not needy so much as in needing affection (he gets plenty of that! He must get half a million kisses from me and my mom every day, and tons of head pats and nose-to-snoot talks with my dad)

I've heard that a Border Collie's affection/loyalty can become an obsession...how true! Tippy is SO affectionate and loyal to us. She will come over to you and either do her "awoowoowoo!" or nudge you for attention. Like Carrie, we usually can't just ignore her...no, we pet her. Yes, I know, I know!! But if you had those big brown eyes staring at you they'd melt your heart too and you'd pet her LOL. If she doesn't get attention from one person, she might go to a different person, or go lay down. She doesn't really do this at any particular time....sometimes you might be sitting reading a book and she'll be in sleeping somewhere and decide she wants attention. She'll trot over to you and give you the, "I'm cute so pet me" look. And believe, it's hard to refuse this dog!!! She has never been very interested in toys though...the first time she ever saw/heard a squeaky toy she freaked out and hid, my little baby girl. Now sometimes if I'm playing tug with Colby or May she might come over and take a little "taste" of the toy, but then she runs away. Her play is goofing around, pawing and wrestling.

boxerlover, I agree with previous replies. Ignore him. I find that this DOES work best (most times) though each dog is different. It might take a long time, and I know how annoying it is to be doing it for weeks or months or longer, but you just have to keep on trying. Sadly training doesn't work like magic and may take a LONG time.

I like that Pugdog.

Quote:
only rarely does he manage to get on my nerves, but hard to stay angry with that flat wrinkly black face looking at me.


It's true. Sometimes it's hard to resist the little dumplings. But then again, if they're driving you nutso, well then, some of that can be tempered.

I know....I've done it again...gone into too much detail. LOL.

Ditto to you both!! I can't resist doggie faces...and my girls know the looks that work best on me, LOL! I once had a GSD puppy attacking my jeans and shoes, and it was hard to tell her, "No!" and gently push her away.

Pugdawg--I've seen pictures of Bentley in your gallery, and omigosh is he cute!!

[julie]

It makes me sick! I get really pissed when he tries to sit on
me....that is unacceptable to me.

If he is a rescue he probably was allowed to sit on laps in earlier homes - personally I love it when mine sit on my lap for a cuddle. When we take on rescues we have to realise they come with baggage and this may be his. I am not sure it would be possible to stop it and in fact I wouldn't want to, they crave love and attention and thats probably why we originally domesticated them to bring them into our homes.

[DarknessDivine]

Hey Dark.......by the way.....my Boxer is perfect! LOL! He is affectionate, loving, loyal, mild mannered, confident, never needy!

LOL! But aren't they all prefect?..

[Carrie]

I think the NILF program is a good thing if you're having dominance/aggression issues.
Starting last night I have begun the "ignore cute chin which is pinning my forearm down when I'm typing program, imploring dark eyes gazing up into my face and all." LOL. This demand for attention is going to have to stop. If I'm consistant and ignore every single time, this behavior will stop because nothing good will come of it for him. When he goes away for a few minutes, I'll get up out of my chair and go give him a pat. I will choose the times when I want to give Doberbrat attention for the most part. If I give into this pressing over me behavior, it can become a problem when he's a little older, so I'm implimenting my new program now. LOL.

Yelling, jerking, shoving, scolding will not communicate anything to him. It's attention and it's confusing. Simply put, no payoff=cessation of behavior. It will take more than one episode because up to now, he has had a payoff for that. So, he'll try a few more times until he sees that nothing good is going to happen when he does that. If I discover that part of the payoff IS his chin resting on my arm and not only my turning, talking and patting him, then I'll have to turn my chair away and look at the wall so his chin doesn't have a place to rest. LOL.

[boxerlover]

Julie...I agree about his baggage....and some things about him will just remain.
But I can tell you that his sitting on me is a Dominance issue.....it is not him just wanting some attention.....he also leans against me.....when I put him in a down stay he will down and make sure he places his feet on top of mine.
Trust me he has Dominance issues....if I did not know the little bit that I do....I am sure he would have already bitten a child by now.
He gets more than his fair share of love too....he just cant stop!
But the leaning and trying to sit on is another story.

[Rip's Girl]

Awwwwww, Carrie, you meanie. LOL! I know it's 'bad' to give into their frequent requests for attention but it's so hard! Ripley never asks me for attention, so it completely melts me when I look to the side of my desk and I see Dakota watching me, and his eyes are so clearly saying "I love you". Once in a while he'll push his nose under my arm and wag his tail at me.. And he has the cutest, roundest nose.. How can I not pet him?? LOL

Dawn, are you familiar with NILIF? If so, I'd start that up with Jack. It could really help with the dominance, and in managing the dominance, you could start working on his pushiness.