clingyness

[B.B.'s mom]

My darling B.B. is very attached to me. When we first got him (in november) i was probably with him the most often, and of all my family, i am the most gentle. so this is probably why he has attached himself to me. but..its breaking my heart! for instance, right now i am in the basement, on my computer, trying to get advice from all of you wise souls, and he is in bed with my teenage stepdaughter, whinning pathetically, waiting for me to come back upstairs. i feel sooo bad and guilty. am i making him psychotic or teaching him that its ok to be without me? i don't want to cause him stress but i want him to be secure without me. so far you all have been great..please help me with this one. I can tell that my step daughter feels a bit sad that he wants to be with me so bad. in the mornings she gets up before me to get ready for school and i hear her sneak into my room and snatch him off my bed( yes yes all you crate trainers..he sleeps with me..sorry..but he is a tiny baby and i feel he needs the company)
anyway..he stays with her for the awake company but as soon as i get up he runs to me and doesn't leave my side untill i leave for work. He takes to my husband a little better, but still prefres my company. what should i do? break this habit or leave it be?

[Carrie]

When he whines, he must be ignored. And I mean ignored. If he continues to be catered to, you'll have real problems later. You set the standards, rules, how you run your life and stick to them consistantly. He's a baby, yes. But he's a dog. What will happen if you cannot be at home one night and he HAS to sleep alone? You're creating a seperation anxiety situation.

Don't get me wrong. Dogs and especially puppies need our love, cuddling and attention to thrive well. But not constantly. They need socialization (experiences with people, dogs, new enviornments, new objects, traffic noise, other pups, everything you're going to have to do with him; clip nails, bathe, clean ears, brush teeth, go to the vet's) Everything you can think of that you'll need him to be able to experience, do it now.

He needs training. Learn how to teach him basic obedience in a happy, positive way. This makes him look up to you as his guide and leader which will help him to respect you. Don't undermine this goal by giving into his weah, weah whining. You have to fight yourself a little sometimes. Do things to help him become more confident. A dog who is not confident is maladjusted and can become dangerous. Prevent him from becoming shy.

They also need to learn some independence which you can help him with. You can practice leaving the house for 5 minutes and returning. Don't open the door to come back in while he's crying. Wait till you hear him catch his breath for a minute. Then gradually increase the time you hide outside.

That doesn't mean to be hard or cold hearted. I love my dogs and act very ga ga over them. But at the same time, they are disciplined, not harshly, on the contrary, quite the opposite.....but firmly and decisively.

You can create an aggression problem later on if you let him get his way about everything.

If you need help with training, there are lots of good books and websites.

Do enjoy your puppy. And to continue enjoying him throughout his life, you'll want to mold him into a well mannered, well trained, confident dog.

You can do this. Go girl, go.

[GreenleafGreyhound]

I agree with Carrie. I have a former mild-SA dog who terrorized my home and my heart. We did alone training (I PM'd you with the info regarding alone training with details) and she is now extremely comfortable alone. She, too, used to whine when she wasn't in a room with me. Alone training boosted her confidence and she'd sooner me follow her than vice versa. I, personally, recommend alone training with ANY dog because it is a confidence booster and it really helped acclimate Giselle to the enviornment. Good Luck and I hope you nip this in the bud.

[Carrie]

When he whines, he must be ignored. And I mean ignored.

(just thought of something) Why I say ignored isn't to be mean or seek payback time. It's because attention of any kind from anyone will be interpretted as reward for his whining and he'll continue it. When you remove your attention....a look, a word, anything, he'll figure out that nothing good is coming from his whining and he'll stop. When he stops for a couple of minutes, then he can be rewarded. Then wait till he is quiet for longer than a couple of minutes and reward. Gradually increase the time block that he must abstain from obnoxious whining. LOL.