broaching a very delicate topic - need help

[sammy]

I am currently boarding a young Golden (15 months) for a friend that I walk with most mornings at our park. The owners are very nice people, they are both doctors. They are wonderful parents and committed 1st time dog owners.

The Dad adores Rosie and Sammy, loves throwing frisbee for them and asks me lots of questions about their training in OB and agility.
They have gone through a couple of sets of classes with their Golden - with a trainer I'm not especially fond of and they have had relatively poor results. The dog is lovely but fat and very spoiled.
He pretty much does as he pleases and is under the misapprehension that the world revolves around him. He was in for quite a shock when he came here and dicovered that dogs are expected to use good manners and that they don't get very far if they choose not to do as they are asked.

The dog had zero frustration tolerance and threw the closest thing I've ever seen to a doggie tantrum when scratching at the door didn't immediately result in me opening it.I thought my door actually might get damaged.
In the last couple weeks he has learned that he needs to hold a down and be released with "ok" to get out of the crate. If he doesn't, the crate door just closes again and I walk away and try again later. At one point after he was doing his down pretty nicely, he decided to try pushing by me and nearly sent me flying. The same goes for getting out of the van- he can now hold a sit until he is released. He has learned to say please (offer and maintain a sit and eye contact) for petting, to get me to open the door to go out etc etc
After 4 long days of testing me-- he seemes just SURE that he didn't need to actually do these silly things I asked --He is now listening well, has a fast reliable recall is following cues even in fairly distracting environments and can maintain a sit at the door when people arrive. He's come a loong way very quickly- there's sure nothing wrong with this dogs brain. He is also pretty sweet- he was just like a spoiled child that had been doted on, handed everything on a silver platter and not been taught manners so the result was a pushy, mouthy brat with no self control.

This is a dog that when his owner would tell him No! and to quit humping Sammy, would bark in the owners face and grab/bite at his pants. All I have to do is say "HEY" and he quits whatever he is doing:humping, chewing up something, harassing Rosie etc. I have never physically corrected or hurt this dog, just imposed boundaries, taught him default behaviors and not let him rehearse or be rewarded by the rude pushy behaviors I don't like. He has just learned what works and what doesn't at my house.

The other issue is that he has pretty bad hip dysplasia. He is obese-- he carries it really well, but if you put your hands on him you can grab a good 3-4 inches of fat.You can't feel ribs or hips at all. His fat shakes from side to when he runs and he seems exceptionally clumsy. It pains me to see any dog this overweight but to see a dog with such bad hips that he is getting monthly injections at such a young age- just kills me.
I am not feeding him nearly as much as the owners did- he works for most of his food at my house, he also gets lots of treats. I wasn't sure how much to cut bcak his food since I knew he'd be getting lots of food rewards.
I knew he was slimming down a bit but the other day we saw some people we haven't seen in a week and they were shocked at how much thinner he looked. I guess seeing him daily, I didn't notice it as much.

So, the question.
How do I tell these people that they have a lovely dog who can indeed listen and learn very well, but his problems are that he is fat and very spoiled ?

They know that CHD dogs should be slim but apparently the wife "doesn't have the heart" to cut back on the dog's food. I frankly can't understand that coming from doctors. Their vet advised them to take 5 pounds off him-- I'd probably do more like 10 I feel like it's cruel to keep a dog fat when it will further damage his hips. There is a good chance his hips wouldn't be nearly this bad if he had been kept at a healthy weight as he grew.
I can't imagine someone telling this to me and me not being offended. I just can't figure out what I'm going to say or wether I should let this odg continue to lose weight. Will they be pissed off if they come home in 3 weeks to a slim dog?

[Rivsky]

Perhaps if you try and tackle the weight issue from the perspective of the medical and lifestyle problems the dog will encounter if it doesn't lose weight - surely being doctors something has to get through to them that way. She may not have the heart to cut back on his food but does she have the heart to watch him hobble around, possibly be housebound and not be able to get up and down without being in pain?

As for the spoilt thing I know it's not a good idea to compare dogs with children but it's the only thing I can come up with at the moment. Can you start discussing with them how dogs, like children need boundaries and rules to follow. If they had kids would they let them run around doing everything as they please? It's a safety thing as well with getting a reliable recall and as GR's are generally smart and really eager to please you could maybe explain to them that the dog actually enjoys using it's brain and being rewarded for listening.

I think there is always the possibility of them being a little offended but perhaps when they come to pick the dog up and see all the stuff that you've taught it to do in their absence they may just realise what a clever dog they've got and continue along that path. Being first time dog owners it could just be they weren't sure how to go about things but now that you've laid the foundation it may be easier for them to maintain that (at least I hope so for the dog's sake anyway!)

[TinyAlbinoDancer]

First of all, kudos! Second, I don't think they'll be pissed to come home to a slim dog. It is a difficult subject, and I agree with Rivsky to broach it from a medical standpoint. You might try giving them other options than cutting food back, like switching to a higher quality dog food or something (other options are difficult for this dog, obviously). Also, while I was reading I was thinking maybe videotaping a day with their dog--showing how he listens and how happy and energetic he is despite having his food cut, would help them to understand the benefits of a routine like you've got with him.

And when you're done, can you come train Missie for me? She's spoiled and she talks back to me. lol!

[Cassiepeia]

What a wonderful job you're doing with this dog. Congrats, I'm sure the dog appreciates it too.

I agree with approaching the weight subject from a medical standpoint, but perhaps use humans as an example. Tell them, what if a couple came to them with an obese child who had hip problems and they told the couple that the child should lose weight to take the pressure of his hips (so as not to make things worse). But the parents said "We don't have the heart to put him on a diet, he's so happy when he gets his snacks and fried chicken and cake and McDonalds".
What would they think of the parents in that situation?

Cass.

[calgal]

Your doing an outstanding job with this dog. Who takes care of him while they work? Maybe you could offer to dog sit, keep him on a diet and active and earn a little extra money at the same time. If you are wondering how to tell them their dog is OB and spoiled, then just tell them exactly that.

[c0_re]

Originally Posted by TinyAlbinoDancer

First of all, kudos! Second, I don't think they'll be pissed to come home to a slim dog. It is a difficult subject, and I agree with Rivsky to broach it from a medical standpoint. You might try giving them other options than cutting food back, like switching to a higher quality dog food or something (other options are difficult for this dog, obviously). Also, while I was reading I was thinking maybe videotaping a day with their dog--showing how he listens and how happy and energetic he is despite having his food cut, would help them to understand the benefits of a routine like you've got with him.

And when you're done, can you come train Missie for me? She's spoiled and she talks back to me. lol!

I think the video tapeing thing is a GREAT idea! Maybe soon you'll ahve you ownTV show!

[StephanieandTeddy]

I've dealt with this a lot over the years with my pet sitting business....I've come to the conclusion that there is only so much you can do when it's not your dog.
You can make suggestions, and get him fit when he is in your care...but ultimately it is up to the owners. Some like to get advice...others resent you for it.

Hopefully, they will be so impressed with his new physique that they will ask, "How did you do it?"

Good for you for caring!

[linnie]

They sound like they really love their dog. I should imagine if you approached them in a kindly manner and even offered to help with training they would think it great.
As for the overweight thing, perhaps finding some information they can read as to the dangers for their dog might help.

I can tell you I would be absolutely stoked if someone could help me with a spoilt dog

[Novel]

The videotaping is an excellent idea... seeing is believing after all.

You know these people better than I, but, maybe blunt honesty would be best, if not easiest. Simply say, "This is your dog's correct weight." (if he's that slim by their return) or something along those lines. You can explain why if they ask.. but you will be doing the dog such a good turn if you can help them see the truth.

[GSD]

You are doing the right thing, but don't be suprised if they're upset when they get back. Telling people that their dog might be a couple pounds overweight, when in reality they are grotesquely obese, often results in hurt feelings and defensive reactions. But you never know, some might come back and proclaim they've been trying to get him to loose weight, they just haven't suceeded and they'll want to know what you did.

[trainingrixie]

Well they definitely seem to love their dog, they just need to know HOW to love their dog. Maybe you could offer to come over their house one day and show them what you've been doing with their dog. I know it's hard to say that without seem like your telling them they're wrong. But if they really love their dog, they will be open to suggestions on how to better his life. You just have to find a very tactful way of approaching the subject. Maybe ask them what behavior problems they have, etc, and bring the subject up like that. Let us know how you make out!!

[Sophie45]

I'm extremely impressed with the improvements you made over the past few weeks! I am not going to say anything new, but I do feel that how you word it is just as important as what you are saying, so be sure to emphasize that they are wonderful dog owners, and how great their dog is, how intelligent, etc. and emphasize the positive changes that have occured with your diligence over the past few weeks. If they don't feel that you are criticizing them, but rather highlighting good points and how you enhanced all of their work and dedication they put into their dog, they will probably be much more receptive. They have to be at least somewhat intelligent people, if they are doctors, and should be rational and logical as well, so I wouldn't worry too much. Great job!