Pets have to deal with new baby, too

[bigdoglover]

Inside Bay Area

Candace Murphy

The world has changed since the neighborhood dog languished most of his days outside, and the local cat spent its days cavorting in the subdivision streets.
Today, pets are a veritable extension of the family, often a practicing ground for a baby. And there's nothing wrong with all that coddling that comes with it — the birthday parties, the special outfits, the spot on the bed — until, of course, a real baby comes home.

Though it sounds like just another opportunity for more pet pampering, bringing baby home to a place where a pet dog or cat has spent time staking its territory is a serious concern for many new parents.

That's why Mills-Peninsula Health Services, for the past few years, has been offering its popular class, "Dogs and Diapers/Cats and Cradles" in conjunction with the Peninsula Humane Society.

We recently caught up with class instructor Maria Eguren, the humane society's behaviorist and training manager, before this fall's annual Sept. 28 class. We asked Eguren if parents really should be worried about bringing up baby — when a pet was there first.

Q: Now, seriously, is this really a problem?

A: It can be, especially if the cat or dog has never been around kids or babies. It's a huge change for them. What happens most of the time is that when people bring home their new baby, they begin to prioritize, and all the free time goes to the baby, and the pet's routine changes.

Q: And...your point is? It's a dog. Or a cat. Shouldn't we pay more attention to the human baby in this equation?

A: Well, all those things combined can make the dog or cat start having behavior problems.

Q: Won't cat's just walk away and ignore people like usual?

A: The most common thing for cats is that they stop using the litter box. They urinate or defecate outside of it or do territorial marking. The new smell of the baby is very different. They may start marking in the baby's room.

Q. Gross. Well, what about dogs?

A: With dogs it's a little different unless they're very, very territorial. Most of the time they just want to be involved. They want to check out the baby, and they may be a little too rough. Or they can be surprised. The baby could resemble prey, because they're not sure if it's human or a little animal. You want to make sure they don't confuse (the baby) with prey.

Q: Are there steps parents can take beforehand so the first day back from the hospital isn't a nightmare?

A: In this class, we basically teach techniques so that the pets get used to sounds and smells of the new baby. For cats and dogs, those are the most important senses. We talk about how to get baby CDs or having a recording made of a baby of another family you know. We also talk about getting baby lotion and putting it on your hands and arms and then playing with your cat or dog. That way, the first time the baby comes in, the pets will get the idea that it's an enjoyable situation so they'll be better disposed to enjoy the baby.

Q: What about the baby's room? Should it be off-limits?

A: It's a good idea to let the pet roam around the nursery before the baby's there so they're used to the new surroundings.

Q: Every parent that's first had a pet and then a baby has said it's impossible not to kick the pet to the curb in terms of attention, when a new baby enters the family. Can this be avoided?

A: It is tough. I have to say, with all the activities and time you have to give to a baby, if there's only one person in the house and then the dog or cat, then it is tough. But you should be able to give the dog or cat 10 or 15 minutes a day and then try to include it in other activities. If there are more people in the house, sharing responsibilities is easier. If the baby is with you, the dog or cat can enjoy some time with the other person. But it's not easy.

Q: Are you sure this isn't just another case of bad pet coddling?

A: No. I never recommend leaving the cat or dog alone with kids — babies, newborns or toddlers. Even the best dog can be surprised or startled. I once had a woman call me about a dog's behavior problem and it turned out the baby was chasing the dog and sitting on top of it. Supervision, of both pet and baby, is the key word here. Now, comparing this to 10 or 15 years ago, this type of class is definitely more popular. I don't think people before thought about what problems they could have if they brought home a baby with a pet. The dog stayed outside and so did the cat. So in some respects, maybe it's a result of past coddling.

Q: When should parents start preparing a pet for a new baby?

A: In terms of training a pet, any mire. Even if they're not considering having a baby, start now. Get a dog used to walking on a leash for example, if you will want to be taking a stroller out with your baby and your dog in the future. With sounds and smells, most parents start after the first trimester — after they can assure they are pregnant — and then they can take five or six months and gradually get their pet accustomed to it.

Q: Now, this may sound strange, but is there any evidence pointing to the fact that a couple with a pet who is trying to conceive may be being thwarted in their efforts by their pet? A Bay Area couple trying to conceive were told by their somewhat psychic acquaintance that their dog was used to being the baby in the family and therefore cosmically blocking the couple from creating a human baby. The psychic told them to counsel the dog and tell him to "Enlarge the pack." Have you ever heard of anything like this?

A: That's the first time I've ever heard of anything like that. But you never know! It'd be interesting to find out after they said that to their dog if they could have a baby.

[D.Schäferhund]

nice article...

that brings me to the question, is there any good book or something about that subject out there?