Things for Dogs to Remember

Lil'Paws · 09-01-2004, 03:28 PM

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when
he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm
lying under the coffee table.

I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself
of hangers-on.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE
entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of
clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead birds, seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in
the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose
up her bottom end.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red
ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window
rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I
hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over
the backyard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's
laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher
or trashcan.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
Mom's driver's license and car registration.

I will not spend more than 5 minutes trying to find the
"perfect" place to poop.

I will not take off while on leash to chase squirrels while
Mommy is standing on a slippery grass slope.

sheltiepups · 09-01-2004, 03:42 PM

lol I love that more and more every time I read it!!

Rip's Girl · 09-01-2004, 07:44 PM

LOL too cute! I love it!

Little Paws · 09-01-2004, 08:15 PM

LOL thats is so cute love it

Barrett · 09-02-2004, 02:25 AM

LOL I can count 16 of those as things Bailey has done!

stardust · 09-02-2004, 07:15 AM

thats sooo cute! now it should just have 'i will not give the puppy dog eyes every time you leave for work, because i know you have to work to get me those great toys/treats etc" added to it lol

kjm · 09-02-2004, 07:36 AM

Yeah, I need to teach that to Boone. ESPECIALLY about the underwear. I know one day he's going to embarass the hell out of me in front of company. The little devil.

Lil'Paws · 09-02-2004, 08:36 AM

Yes and I can see Mia doing that to me too.

09-01-2004, 03:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
Lil'Paws ~w/Dachshund~ Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ~Western~NC~ Posts: 1,662 Rep Power: 120	Things for Dogs to Remember I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will not throw up in the car. I will not roll on dead birds, seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food. I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps. My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher or trashcan. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration. I will not spend more than 5 minutes trying to find the "perfect" place to poop. I will not take off while on leash to chase squirrels while Mommy is standing on a slippery grass slope.
	__________________ ~ Dachshund means Love ~

09-01-2004, 03:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
sheltiepups Semper Fidelis - Marines Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: somewhere Posts: 2,438 Rep Power: 132	lol I love that more and more every time I read it!!
	__________________ Breezy & her shelties Thank you Dawn, for a wonderful siggy :) 2cutepups

09-01-2004, 07:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
Rip's Girl Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Arizona Posts: 2,580 Rep Power: 144	LOL too cute! I love it!
	__________________

09-02-2004, 07:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
stardust Join Date: May 2004 Location: wisconsin Posts: 423 Rep Power: 93	thats sooo cute! now it should just have 'i will not give the puppy dog eyes every time you leave for work, because i know you have to work to get me those great toys/treats etc" added to it lol
	__________________ I love my Pomeranian

09-02-2004, 07:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
kjm Schnauzer Slave Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 533 Rep Power: 93	Yeah, I need to teach that to Boone. ESPECIALLY about the underwear. I know one day he's going to embarass the hell out of me in front of company. The little devil.
	__________________ The Schnauzer Squad (just the two of us!): Karli and Boone "He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."

09-01-2004, 08:15 PM	#4 (permalink)
Little Paws Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: canada Posts: 29 Rep Power: 81	LOL thats is so cute love it

09-02-2004, 02:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
Barrett dachshund Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Washington Posts: 2,758 Rep Power: 158	LOL I can count 16 of those as things Bailey has done!

09-02-2004, 08:36 AM	#8 (permalink)
Lil'Paws ~w/Dachshund~ Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ~Western~NC~ Posts: 1,662 Rep Power: 120	Yes and I can see Mia doing that to me too.
	__________________ ~ Dachshund means Love ~

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