Things off my chest

[Jamila]

Okay I just need to let some stuff out, and you GP pals are always very sweet about stuff so here goes...
I have been crushing (for lack of better words) on this guy friend of mine for couple years now. He doesnt live in the same town so there wasnt that much contact til recently when he got work in the town I live in. I see him alot more and we hang out all the time. I think we were actually becomeing close friends. Well he has no idea I'd like to be more than friends, atleast I dont think he does. I try to drop hints but I'm a flirty girl anyhow. Well I was talking to him last night on yahoo messenger and I think I scared him off a bit. I tend to let things fly easier when typing. It's concentrated thoughts. When I speak to people in person it's filtered. I think I came on too strong. I'm just hoping he wont be fearfull of me. He was suposse to come over tonight but I'm leaving the ball in his court. If he wants to he can contact me. Or should I contact him?
I have always had issues with guys being intimidated by me. I have a strong personality. Heck I'm a Leo to the T.

Ugh and finals are this week. Plus I have to go get a crown put on at the Dentist today here in a bit. I dont feel like going but I have already confirmed I'd be there...darn it. Sometimes I just wanna laze around with all my fur kids. Since this Orf I've not played with the rats cause it hurts when they scratch. I miss them. Well okay then I'm done. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed...lol.

[calgal]

ok sweetie, here is my idea. I too was just close friends with my husband before we actually dated. I was the one who finally had to initiate the first date though. I just came right out and ask him if he would like to go out for lunch, (figured lunch wasn't romantic enough to scare him off if he really wasn't looking for romance with me) and he said ok. Over lunch I just came right out and told him how I felt about him and would like to get to date him. He was happy about that. Said he liked me too but didn't think I would have gone out with him. He also liked that I was up front with everything. I too am out spoken and like to come to the point. I don't like anyone who tends to beat around the bush so to speak.
So maybe don't say or do anything yet, but wait till after your finals and a good rest, then ask him out for lunch or something.

[eagle12167]

now for a guys perspective. some guys freak out on a strong woman, some guys don't. try what calgal said, if he looks like he's looking for the exit then he is, he may not be comfortable with a lady asking him out. i personally find it very mature that a lady asked me out, so i married her 11 years ago, and we are still together. if nothing else works give him some time (he may be a little slow to the idea).
well good luck.

[linnie]

My advice would be to give him space.. you have let him know how you feel.
my hubby was very shy and I was (am) a very strong minded woman.
turned out the first time he met me he told his family I was the one he could marry
28 years on and he still thinks so.
If this guy likes you he will get in touch.
if he doenst then he iwsnt the one for you honey.
Plenty of fish in the sea

[Dogsareme]

I was friends with my boyfriend before we started dating too. Usually when you feel strong for someone they feel the same way about you. I have learned that many a times.
I let my boyfriend know (*note: We have been together for 5 1/2 years, and I get the feeling he is going to ask me something very soon ) that I was into him one day (I was dating another guy......hehe...but I broke up with him before anything happened ) and just told him right out. I can be very to the point. I found out through trial and error, if I'm not, I usually don't end up with what I want. I find it better to say things in person, even thought it's more scary, just because there first reaction to the situation is the truthful one. He was very happy I felt this way and confessed that he did to.

I would give him a call tonight. But don't mention your earlier converstation unless he does. Go out, have fun, and then let him know. See how he reacts.

[Jamila]

You all rock! Thanks for the advice. I think he works today so I'll see if he wants to still come over. I think I will wait to tell him I like him till after finals and junk. Whew!

[mulroony]

Another guy's persective...

Don't hint, in my experience guys can't pick up on them. Coming on to strong is just as bad, just leave any mention of marriage or children at home until at least the third date I would be willing to bet he had thought about asking you out but transition from friends to reltionship is harder for guys to navigate then a fine china store blind folded. Lunch is great or if you are active some sort of unconventional sport, raquet ball, wall ball, frolf, anything neither of you have every played before. Keeps things going and limits the chance of awkward silence, plus if he lets you win that is a good sign.

Whatever you decide if you do ask him, shoot for something you know he likes, or a restaurant hat he likes. This would impress me.

Good luck

[WolfRyder]

Originally Posted by mulroony

Another guy's persective...

Don't hint, in my experience guys can't pick up on them.

ROFL!! Oh yeah, guys aren't usually tuned to subtly or subtle sarcasm (unless this is your kind of relationship already)

With my husband and even before we married, we just decided to be has honest as we could. Not hurtfully so, but with things we wanted or needed for ourselves and from each other.

No pressure, either. So if you are going to ask him out, make sure, within yourself, you're okay with him saying "no" and even "I like you as a friend but not anything more". Because it Can happen. Be sure that the rejection won't damage you or your relationship.

If he does like you as more, that's cool

Also, about going somewhere unusual, in case he decides to say yes (and after the first date, please). If he's a geeky type, go to a tech show. If he's a gamer, go to an arcade. Go where He would want to go. Even if you think it's some place that would bore you to tears. See if you can accept that "other" part of him. Cause trust me, you gotta love 'em "as is". It's the only way a relationship will last the ups and downs.

[mrsgrubby]

Mul is right, guys can't pick up on hints, but don't want to talk babies and marriage either.

I am very strong, very loud, very flirty, and run the company I work for. My hubby is quiet, shy, but funny.

We were very good friends before we started dating, and did all kinds of fun stuff together, camping, fishing, and stuff.

One day we were camping and drinking and just started kissing. The next day he seemed kinda embarrassed and quiet, but I was in love. However, I tend to scare guys off too, so I just kept camping and fishing and doign the things we enjoyed doing together for the next few months, until one night I told him I loved him. (dead silence)

But the next night he asked if I meant it... I said yes, and he said he loved me too.

That was 15 years ago!

Good luck, keep us posted!!

[princessjodi]

Alright...just my two cents...

Don't get sucked into 'playing games'. No one likes them and they make things WAAAAAY too complicated! I know...it is very easy to get sucked into a game and not even know it!

If you like him...tell him. If you want to go out with him...tell him. If you want to be more than friends with him...tell him. BUT tell him in a way he won't freak out from.

From my experience...guys haven't a clue as to what makes us women tick and appreciate a bit of honesty...just put yourself in his shoes. Pretend he's the one with the crush and telling you..how would you want him to tell you? How would you react? Would you be able to take your friendship to the next level, so to speak? Would you be willing to put your friendship at risk in case things don't work out at that next level?

And MOST IMPORTANT...if it is meant to be, it will happen. Just relax and enjoy being young and in (insert emotion here).

[eagle12167]

mulroony and the others are right, this is what i have told my 15 year old daughter.
guys are stupid when it comes to girls, we don't have a clue what you want, when you want it,or when not to. be honest and let them know but, don't just blurt it out. guys are usally slower then girls so it takes them longer to process emotions. be yourself and be truthful. when the right one comes along you'll know.

[linnie]

AMEN eagle lol
My husband and I spent months walking along the beach telling each other what our dreams and ambitions were.
I have to say though that i was after a mate not a man to give me kids ( ptoohy) I was never really maternal but hey my man had to love animals.
We are so alike it is scary oh except I am outgoing and he is shy lol
we still have dreams.
So everyone should always talk with their partner no matter how long they have been together

[eagle12167]

yeah i know, me and my wife have been together for 16 yrs. and we still like to talk to each other. although me and my wife are almost exact oppisites.lol
the key to any relationship is communication, no matter what.

[Jamila]

communication is extremely important I agree. Me and this guy have great communication. I think what happened was I was joking in a sexual manner and I think it freaked him out when I started asking about his past. I dropped the subject though. (this was the messenger convo).
Since then I have text messaged him and got short responces. Oh well. He's not the only one I like out there. LOL
Lucky for me I've got 12 fur kids that love me and always will

[eagle12167]

that's right there are always other fish in the sea.