For ALL the Moms out there

[Glitzie]

Happy early Mother's Day!

My Cousin sent this to me & I thought I'd share.

MOM - JOB DESCRIPTION

POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational
skills and be willing to work variable hours,
which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on
call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping
sites on rainy weekends
and endless sports tournaments in far away cities.
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life: Must be willing to be disliked, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $10.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go
from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the
screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck
zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of
all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the
next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end
product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,
constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this!
You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18
because of the assumption that college will help them become
financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually
enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free
hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the Moms you know,
in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
and let them know they are appreciated
& also send to all children to let them know what a mum goes through for
them.

[Dog Tired]

How true is that! I should put that on my next job application...and see what great position I could get!

[bigdoglover]

Is that the truth, or what?! LOL

[eagle12167]

not a mom but i am going to show my wife that one.

[fireworksinjuly]

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,
constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Some day theyll be grandparents though.

Its kind of odd that most people know all of this before they have children, and still do it anyways.... like me. I know its not going to be easy, but my husband and I are trying for our first child.

[eagle12167]

fireworksinjuly: i have two children and i wouldn't trade them for the world, maybe for more pets.lol but seriously, good luck and may the winds of good fortune blow your way.

[fireworksinjuly]

Originally Posted by eagle12167

fireworksinjuly: i have two children and i wouldn't trade them for the world, maybe for more pets.lol but seriously, good luck and may the winds of good fortune blow your way.

Thanks. Im hopeing this is the last mothers day I can't celebrate.

[Carrie]

LOL. That's so cute.

Best wishes Emily. I love using your name as it is also my daughter's name. I'm going to see her tomorrow and will be gone for a few weeks. I hope everything goes beautifully for you.

Yeah....it's funny how that works.

Its kind of odd that most people know all of this before they have children, and still do it anyways....

I remember with my second pregnancy, my Dad said, (chuckle, chuckle) "You know what causes it don't you?" LOL. Like I had made some big mistake, which I most certainly did not. LOL. That was one I lost. I ended up though with two wonderful children who are my everything. They're now 26 and 22.

(but oh boy....what a chore!) LOL