Dreading Sunday

[ewarp]

Anyone else here not looking forward to Mother's Day for whatever reason?


For me, May is incredibly hard. I lost my mom almost 7 years ago (I'm almost 20), and May 3rd is her birthday and then of course comes Mother's Day. On top of that, right after Easter, stores and tv commercials start gearing up for Mother's Day.

Nothing like turning on the tv to get a cheerful, musical reminder that you no longer have a mom. Thank goodness for Tivo.

[britishbandit]

I can't say I'm "dreading it"....but for a number of reasons, I think I'll just avoid it this year. I will get my mum a card and gift (and do a quick drop off), but for obvious reasons (if you've read my recent threads), Mother's Day is going to be a "touchy" subject for me.

So sorry about your mum That's really young to have lost her.

[mrsgrubby]

I am sorry you two!!! I know both mothers day and fathers day is very hard on many people. Many have lost their parents, some were abused by their parents, some were just ignored or neglected by their parents, and some just don't get along with their parents.

My husband hates his parents and he too dreads mothers day and fathers day. We always do what BB mentioned. Get a card and gift and drop it and go.

[bigdoglover]

I'm not really looking forward to it, either. I'm not one of those people that sends a card for every holiday, and my mother seems to think that I "owe" her at least a card. She throws out the guilt trip for every darn thing....b-day, v-day, mother's day,.....you name it. You would think it would get old.

Then there is the in-laws. I'm sure there will be some sort of "gathering" and since Greg isn't home, I'm really not looking forward to fielding it alone. So I'll probably make everyone mad if I don't show up....

[Checkers]

Well.. I have to disagree...

Since my son is just two months old now this is my first Mother's Day as a mom myself and it's kinda exciting. I don't expect or really want to get anything... but I'm looking forward to my husband holding me with our son in our arms. Not that that doesn't happen most days anyhow... but somehow it will be just that extra touch special on Sunday. Not only that but my own mom and I have been extra close since her grandson was born also. She knows I can't afford to get her anything more than an internet card and a phone call but that will be enough for her as well.

It can be a wonderful time to honor our mothers... I am very very sorry for those whose mom's have passed, but please try to take advantage of it as a time to remember and honor her with happy thoughts and memories more than grieving the loss... that's how I would want my son to think of me if something were to happen. I think if I were in that position (and I might be completely off base here, because I am not in that position) I might take a few minutes to go through an old photo album and just remember. Yes, it would be very painful.. but I think it would be healing for me as well... but again, that is just me. Everyone has to deal with the pain of that kind of loss in their own way. Best wishes to everyone...

-Cheryl

[mulroony]

My aunt passed away a couple years back but it was not more then a month before mother's day and only a couple weeks before our mom's weekend at the school my cousin and I attended and I know it was really hard on my cousins.

I will buy Jill a mother's day gift from Shelby, just have to figure out what. My mom's b-day is always w/in a few days of mother's day so we just celebrate those together.

[calgal]

Our loved ones who have passed are in a paradise we can never even imagine, and they can come visit us anytime they want, and they do! You need to continue to live life to the fullest because our turn to go will come all too soon. Don't let things keep you from being totally happy. They would not want that, and you know it.
My mother died in Aug. last year, but it sure wouldn't stop me from celebrating one of my sons birthdays on that day.
Go ahead and get those cards for every mom you know even if you don't like them. You will be surprised how great you will feel later. Remember the saying: What goes around comes around? It's so true, so get out there and do some good deeds and make even your most hated person feel they are thought of in a nice way. You will feel like a new person!

[ewarp]

British, I can completely understand why mother's day might be a touchy subject.


For me, I think I'm gonna swing by my grammy's and bring her flowers. Joe's parents are coming over in the evening and I'm cooking, so wish me luck on that! I think I'm making some sort of pasta with homemade bread and this delicious spinach salad.

Cheryl, congrats on your first mother's day. I hope it's really special for you.


Calgal, I understand that some folks believe that loved ones that have passed on have gone to a better place, but I personally don't. Sometimes I wish I did- it might make things easier. Agnosticism makes more sense to me though. Thank you for the kind thoughts all the same.

And besides, just because you get sad once in a while doesn't mean that you aren't completely happy... You've got to have your lows to appreciate your highs.

[Cassiepeia]

I don't mind mother's day, I wish I could spend it with my mother (she lives about 5 and a half hours north of me), but I hate the commercials. Actually I hate everything commercial about every holiday.
All these companies, big and small, just trying to make a quick buck off people's emotions.

ewarp, I'm so sorry your mother is no longer with you. Perhaps you should spend the day doing something you would never normally do or going somewhere you would never normally go? Keep your mind off the day.

Cass.

[linnie]

i think once you are a mum everyday should be mothers day. I dont wait till a set day to show my mum I love her I just do it when my heart moves me to do something special.
Ewarp I am sooo soooo sorry you didnt have your mum with you as you headed into adulthood, My daughter is 27 on monday and she still needs her mum
And BB I have kept up with your posts and I feel really sad that your parents dont have natural parenting love in them. But hey you are one great gal I will be your mum if you want one

[britishbandit]

Originally Posted by linnie

And BB I have kept up with your posts and I feel really sad that your parents dont have natural parenting love in them. But hey you are one great gal I will be your mum if you want one

Awww Linnie, that actually gave me a little heart tug and some watery eyes. You're the best! So when do I get to move to Australia???
Actually, about 6 years ago when I met my best friend Sam, we became really really close, and I spent more time with her family than mine. I've tried for years and years to be close with my parents, and no luck, I guess they don't see how I could need them so much since I left home. But Sam's mum became my mum too. She even used to come out to the pub with us and we always had a good laugh. She was just always there. Even when Sam, her sister and I moved in together and rented a house, she was there to help us move in and celebrate with us. My parents didn't show up for weeks. It really hurt when she passed away 3 years ago from cancer. I went to see her in the hospital just 2 days before she died, and it really destroyed me to see her that way, I almost regret going now. I never wanted my last memory of her to be like that. My own mother came to the funeral with me, and couldn't understand why I was sooo upset, it was so hard for me to lose the "mother I never had". I couldn't even expain it to her. I couldn't bring myself to possibly hurt my mother by saying, "Well I'm this sad because she's been there for me in a way you never have been". I don't want to paint this picture that my mother is a monster, she isn't, but emotionally, she has left me quite wounded. It's really strange too, because my mother has always been really close with her parents.

This was "Mum", me and Sam on my 22nd birthday.....Oh the memories.

[linnie]

BB come on over... I hope you like country living cause I am a horse girl , plenty of animals but only hubby and my daughter and family
and lots of open air
At least you had the privilege of knowing a wonderful person like your "special chosen mom" I am sorry she has passed

[Tiffany0204]

I would have been a Mom this year as well, but for reasons I don't quite understand I'm not. Well that's a lie, I AM a mom, to my precious cats and dog!

Not the same, but I'll take it anyways.