Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ROOM MATES

[Dogsareme]

I live with my boyfriend and a room mate...
Lately they are driving me crazy. They NEVER pick up after themselves.
That is all I ask. I dont' ask them to do any cleaning, like vaccuming or sweeping and such, just to pick up after themselves. Like if they make something to eat, put away there stuff, clean the counter, wash there dishes (if they use a pot or something to cook with) That is all I ask. Or if they eat or drink in the computer room bring the dishes back out. And after dinner if they eat anything and dishes are done they wash there own.

But nope. They can't seem to do any of that.

I ask and ask and ask. Now they keep telling me I am nagging, and I really don't think I am nagging by asking them to pick up after themselves and that's it. I am not there mom! There 24 & 22 for gosh sakes, big enough to clean up after themselves I would think.

Any suggestions what I can do so they will pick up after themselves??

[mrsgrubby]

Oh I remember those days!!!

What do they say when you remind them of the stuff they left laying around? Do you just do it for them?

I wish I had the magic solution for you. It sounds to me like they know you will do it and so they don't make it a priority. Just dont' let them walk all over you. Poor girl, I don't envy you at all.

What if you just piled all their mess on their beds, dirty dishes, dirty clothes, pots pans, ect. would they get the point?

[WolfRyder]

I suspect they would use All the clean dishes, even ones she would use, so she would have to clean something to eat out of.

So, do you all pay rent? Split 3 ways? If so, things should be equal. Who handles the rent payment, grocery shopping, utilities, etc?

When my older kids lived at home I asked the same things of them and told them if they refused I would ask they give me some of their money they earned to pay for a maid to clean up, because I wasn't the maid! (believe me, mothers of older kids don't want to do that stuff anymore either!)

Whatever you do, don't say, "hey guys, we need to talk" cause men hear "we need to talk" and their brains hear "You are in deep poodoo" and shuts off so they don't listen.

What I did at one point was buy plastic silverware, paper plates (the thick ones) and paper cups and put several garbage cans around. Then, there was no need to return stuff to the kitchen. Only to take out the garbage LOL

There's really no good answer or solution. I was married to a man who told me I nagged when I repeated he needed to do something, and when I didn't say anything, he would tell me "well, you didn't say anything!". I'm no longer married to that person. After 18 years or him trying to turn me into his mother/slave I kicked his butt to the curb.

I'm now married to a guy who doesn't try to change me into anything and I extend the same courtsey to him

[Dogsareme]

Charging them would be a great thing. I sure feel like a maid, plus I have 3 dogs I look after, believe me they are no help. If they ask my dogs to do something the dogs just look at them and then look at me and walk away... lol. They only listen to me.

I do like the placing all the dirty things on there beds, or better yet there computers..... lol. They love to game on them. And hate me touching them.

No more will I clean up after them. Today I am refusing to make dinner to, and when Steve the room mate came home for lunch today he left the bread open after making a sandwhich and forgot to take more out of the freezer, well won't they be in for a nice surprise when they go to make lunches tomorrow morning. - No Bread

And actually if they use all the dishes I have a secret stash of them, my camping dishes. I think I will start using them when they have everything else dirty. I'm gonna be kicking them both to the curb soon if something does not shape up.

And when I ask them to clean something all I say is "Hey, so and so, would you mind washing your dish? (or clean your mess, etc)".
But lately its more been "Go clean your mess, I'm not your mom".
Getting a wee bit mad.

[calgal]

Sounds like they still need a mommy, so be careful that you don't fall into that roll! What ever you do, NEVER pick up or clean up after them. If they run out of dishes.......to bad!!!!!!!

[ladydog]

im only 13 and my neighbors come over they expect me to pick up after them! whatever! i make them go home! let them tear there house up! they now respect my house and clean after them selves. 4 you, i dunno. but dont let them run you over! go gurl you can do it!

[mrsgrubby]

good for you!!! Stick up for yourself, you are not the slave!!!!!

Are you sure you want to marry this guy? I never hardly cook, and the cleaning is split equally at my house. When I got home tonight hubby was doing laundry and had already mowed the lawn and packed the camper for this weekend.

Find a guy who appreciates you for the lovely women you are!!!!

I love the fact that you aren't going to get more bread out for them. Let them do it, my gosh do they sound LAZY!!!!!!

[mulroony]

When I had a roommate I got fed up with him b/c he was always complaining that he cleaned up SO much more then I did. So I put a list on the fridge w/ the common jobs (dishes, garbage, bathroom, and it only counted if you really did it not just half the dishes or part of the bathroom). He soon realized he shot himself in the foot b/c I actually did twice as much cleaning as he did and he now had to do a lot more.

Other then that maybe invet in some paper plates and plastic silverware and see how long you can hold out

[sparks19]

Roommates can be terrible.

My hubby rents a room in a house from the lady that owns the house and she lives there too and she is a nut case. other than to make food and use the bathroom he stays in his room.

HER b/f eats my hubby's food that he buys and makes. Even if it has his name on it, Dave will take it and eat it all. Dave does not pay ANY rent at all and he is always there and most of the time has his three kids running around there.

The plumbing got backed up and now she is trying to force my hubby to pay for it and says if he doesn't she will take him to court. I am pretty sure the landlord is responsible for plumbing repairs and such. She also goes into his room whenever she feels like it. She thinks because it is her house she is entitled to do so. She's not

This is just the tip of the ice berg. Good luck with your roomies. I hope the dirty "everything" on the bed helps That is a great idea lol

I agree with mrsgrubby. If he is like this now how will he be ten years from now. My hubby does all the cooking (he loves it and he is a much better cook than I lol ) he also does most of the cleaning actually. A house wife I am NOT lol but I try and he appreciates that I try to do a good job but he is much more the clean freak than I

Good luck girl

[ewarp]

Yeesh... I've had good roommates and I've had bad roommates... In college, I had a pair of roommates that were just... ridiculous. One would clean and clean and clean and clean... heaven help you if you didn't wash your dishes immediately! The other one would literally go buy more socks if his were all dirty. I don't think I ever saw him do a load of laundry. His idea of doing laundry was spraying his clothes with febreze and hanging it in the bathroom while he took a hot shower.

Currently, I live with my boyfriend. He does all the laundry and puts it away. He also is very good about tidying things up... just putting everything back where it belongs. I clean the bathrooms and keep the kitchen clean and stocked. We take turns cooking, and the dogs do the dishes.

You've conditioned your two idiots to believe that you'll clean up after them. Start ignoring the bad behavior and rewarding their good behavior. And seriously... if your boyfriend is this dependant on you now, can you imagine what he'll be like in the future? Yuck!

[britishbandit]

I had the EXACT same problem. I can't believe how many friends I almost "lost" over that. I had roomies for about 4 years, different friends each time trying to find someone that didn't leave the house a complete mess. It never happened. I was the youngest of the group always as well. But it pushed me so far it was actually a good thing. Now they are still out renting and living in "filth", and I'm living in a clean house that I bought myself. Hey, it's nothing spectacular, but it's mine, and its CLEAN. LOL. The only messes I have now are my own, and the pets'. I'm just one of those people that "can't DO roomies". I think the only way my friends will change is when they get their own place, and even then it's questionable.
I don't see my friends as much anymore now as well because of that. If they come here, fine, but I try to stay away from their places. I dunno, something about going over to sit with crap all over the place just makes me uncomfortable. And having to walk through a maze of junk just to get to the couch.
We had a New Years Eve party at my one friends place, and even now there is still bits of silly string up on the ceiling, walls and on the carpet!!! Hhhmmmm, I couldn't go a week without vaccuming/cleaning, never mind 5 MONTHS!!!.....how lazy can they be eh?

[Dogsareme]

lol.
Those are some scary room mate stories.
Not that mine is any better

You should see the nice pile of dishes stacking up. I am even helping dirty ALOT so they might get washing them faster
Dinner???? What is dinner now...... hehehehehe... I am taking a ride in the back seat now. And going over to my dads alot more... lol.. nice and clean there.
You guys are right though, they just expect me to clean up after them because I have been. I tried asking nice and it doesn't work. So it does call for some 'Dog Training'. When they do something good I will reward them with one home cooked meal. And when they start to do better, I might cook a bit more and maybe sweep the floor every now and then, but I will not get to the point where I will once again do everything. no way. If they dont' start shapping up, I am just gonna pack up and go live with my dad I think. I'm to young to play 'mommy' to some lazy boys.

[mrsgrubby]

good for you!!!!! I am proud of you for sticking to your guns!!!!!

[Raised By Wolves]

Bad roommate flashbacks!

For 10 years I rented rooms to friends of my stepsons and other troubled kids who were just starting to make the transition from mom & dad's, to being out on their own, or had hit a bump in the road and needed a fresh start.

You definately address all of the common problems! Dishes were always at the top of the list.

My situation may have been a little different because I was definately the "house mom". After awhile I learned to set out the ground rules in writing, before I ever let someone move in. This solved most of the problems right off the top. Eveyone had chores, and there were financial penalties in the form of payment to me, if I had to do the chore.

One thing I learned, was the best time to "negotiate" is when someone wants something, (before they move in), not after they have it, (already moved in).

I had an open door policy regarding dogs, and always found the dogs to be a lot easier to live with!

[mrsgrubby]

How about an update? Are they cleaning up after themselves or did you give them the "boot"?