a letter to cats

stardust · 10-13-2004, 11:00 AM

Dear Cats,

We need to talk.

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two cats in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

Beating me to the bottom is not the object.

Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.

I am very sorry about this.

Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but feline sarcasm.

My compact discs are not toys for you and your friends to play with.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.

If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.

I must exit through the same door I entered.

In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years and I know that feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt.

I cannot stress this enough.

It should be such a simple change for you.

Sincerely,

I just live here.

Rip's Girl · 10-13-2004, 05:13 PM

***Carrie*** · 10-13-2004, 05:21 PM

Too cute and such a good description of just how they are. LOL.

sheltiepups · 10-13-2004, 05:46 PM

lol that's adorable!

Ritz459 · 10-13-2004, 07:45 PM

That sounds exactly like my cat!!!! LOL

stardust · 10-13-2004, 09:13 PM

ESPECIALLY the secret door in the bathroom.. my cats will open the door ( it doesnt close too tight) if i go in... they MUST know exactly what i am doing in there. lol if water is running in the bathtub they both play in the water with their paws, and drink it with their paws. LOL it is just too cute! my one cat Nooch will jump up onto the sink, twitch her tail at me and pounce onto my shoulders. wow, i miss my cats (they live with my mom right now, and i havent seen them in over a month)

LabLuver22 · 10-15-2004, 08:20 AM

lol! Pets can be so crazy!

That letter sounds exactly like my two cats! I love them and they (I hope) love me, but they do have that regal, "I'm superior-to-you" air. They have their silly moments though! (I don't think my dogs have a regal bone in their bodies....they are all silly, especially my puppy!)

kerriebeth21 · 10-15-2004, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stardust

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two cats in the way.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I've seen this list as for dogs...
This one is true for me...with two of the dogs sleeping on the bed, of course they sleep in the middle!

Quote:

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

Beating me to the bottom is not the object.

Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I keep telling them this! We have a staircase that spirals near the end, so it's very interesting to go down it when the dogs are running down them as fast as they can!!

Quote:

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.

If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.

I must exit through the same door I entered.

In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years and I know that feline attendance is not mandatory.

Trust me they can find a way to push the door open and STARE at you as you sit on the toilet!!

10-13-2004, 11:00 AM	#1 (permalink)
stardust Join Date: May 2004 Location: wisconsin Posts: 423 Rep Power: 93	a letter to cats Dear Cats, We need to talk. When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two cats in the way. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but feline sarcasm. My compact discs are not toys for you and your friends to play with. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years and I know that feline attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It should be such a simple change for you. Sincerely, I just live here.
	__________________ I love my Pomeranian

10-13-2004, 05:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
Rip's Girl Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Arizona Posts: 2,580 Rep Power: 144	Lol!
	__________________

10-13-2004, 05:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
sheltiepups Semper Fidelis - Marines Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: somewhere Posts: 2,438 Rep Power: 132	lol that's adorable!
	__________________ Breezy & her shelties Thank you Dawn, for a wonderful siggy :) 2cutepups

10-13-2004, 09:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
stardust Join Date: May 2004 Location: wisconsin Posts: 423 Rep Power: 93	ESPECIALLY the secret door in the bathroom.. my cats will open the door ( it doesnt close too tight) if i go in... they MUST know exactly what i am doing in there. lol if water is running in the bathtub they both play in the water with their paws, and drink it with their paws. LOL it is just too cute! my one cat Nooch will jump up onto the sink, twitch her tail at me and pounce onto my shoulders. wow, i miss my cats (they live with my mom right now, and i havent seen them in over a month)
	__________________ I love my Pomeranian

10-13-2004, 05:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
*Carrie* Super Moderator Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: north panhandle of Idaho Posts: 7,545 Rep Power: 291	Too cute and such a good description of just how they are. LOL.

10-13-2004, 07:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ritz459 "Nothing is ever easy" Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Indiana Posts: 5,898 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 240	That sounds exactly like my cat!!!! LOL

10-15-2004, 08:20 AM	#7 (permalink)
LabLuver22 Laura Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Maryland Posts: 488 Rep Power: 89	lol! Pets can be so crazy! That letter sounds exactly like my two cats! I love them and they (I hope) love me, but they do have that regal, "I'm superior-to-you" air. They have their silly moments though! (I don't think my dogs have a regal bone in their bodies....they are all silly, especially my puppy!)

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)