Pet Rules

[reggies mom]

My daughter e-mailed me this..thought everyone might enjoy it!

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door-nose height.

Dear Dogs and CAts,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that awsthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miraacle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To ALL Non-pet Owners Who VIsit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on you clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1.Eat less
2.Don't ask for money all the time
3.Are easier to train
4.Normally come when called
5.Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7Don't smoke or drink
8.Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9.Don't want to wear your clothes
10.Don't need a gazzillion dollars for college, and..
11.If they become pregnant, you can sell their children.

[mulroony]

[Mufasas Mommy]

OMG!! That is TOO funny...!! IT's funny b/c we have like 6 dogs, and 10 cats at my house. I constantly find myself saying that if someone doesn't like my dog(s) then they don't have to come back. Their problem.

But that's the cutest thing I've seen in a while!!

[britishbandit]

Hahahhaha.......that's great!
Can't say I was thrilled about #11 though

[D.Schäferhund]

ROFL....awsome !!!!!

[reggies mom]

My daughter always says I love my furkids better than my human kids, that's what made this so appropriate.
I don't totally agree with #11 either, but put in perspective..it is true..

[DaisySunshine]

Originally Posted by reggies mom

My daughter always says I love my furkids better than my human kids, that's what made this so appropriate.

I was an only child but not favorite. The horse, the dog and myself shared the same nickname, Big Girl.

[bigdoglover]

That was really cute!!

[Cassiepeia]

Love it!

Cass.

[Beryl]

I really like this one and keep it in my handheld device for reference.

[rmci]

LOL!

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that awsthetically pleasing in the slightest.

This goes for licking the dish also. Licking my food or drinking glass does not mean that the object shall belong to you.