Dogaholics Anonymous

[MazieDog]

Good Evening. My name is Justin and I AM a dogaholic.

I would like to welcome all of you to this month's meeting of "Dogaholics Anonymous". Some of you are here tonight because a friend or relative brought you here. You may be sitting here thinking that you are OK and that you really don't need any help. It is not easy to admit that you are a dogaholic, and it is even harder to bring yourself to a DA meeting for help. DA is here to assist you.

I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to more than three of the following, you have come to the right place.

1. Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?
2. Do you drive a station wagon, van, or 4x4 when everyone else drives a real car?
3. Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for the dogs?
4. Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows, specialties, and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?
5. If you do go overseas, is it to London, in March, to attend Crufts?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis shoes?
8. Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?
9. Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?
10. Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?
11. Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIC, WC, JH, MH, CH, and OTCH?
12. Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines, and premium lists?
13. Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes? Dog Shows? Seminars?
14. If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets?
15. Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover, or squeaky toys?
16. When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they have and pity them if they don't have one?
17. Do you remember the name of a person's dog sooner than you remember their name?
18. Do you find non-dog people boring?

If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.

If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble. If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.

My advice to all of you with three or more YESes is to sit back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to you and know that your life will always be filled with good friends, good dogs and will never be boring.

[Maltmom]

[Vicki]

Love it!

[linnie]

As I read through the list I thought hmmmm so wheres the problem???? lol

[britishbandit]

Gulity!! And proud of it!

[oc_spirit]

That''s me!!! hehehe

[Carrie]

1. Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?
2. Do you drive a station wagon, van, or 4x4 when everyone else drives a real car?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis shoes?
10. Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?
11. Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIC, WC, JH, MH, CH, and OTCH?
12. Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines, and premium lists?
14. If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets?
15. Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover, or squeaky toys?
16. When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they have and pity them if they don't have one?
17. Do you remember the name of a person's dog sooner than you remember their name?
18. Do you find non-dog people boring?

I only answered yes to 12 questions. 3 questions is ridiculous. They're wrong. I'm not really a dogaholic. I'm not really a dogaholic. I'm not really a dogaholic.

[sammy]

We're fine it's the non dog people who have the problem

[britishbandit]

Originally Posted by sammy

We're fine it's the non dog people who have the problem

I agree!!!

[anaconda]

17. Do you remember the name of a person's dog sooner than you remember their name?

Rofl, YES!!!!!!

[Cassiepeia]

1. Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?
You have no idea how many times I've used that word to describe a female dog and had people look at me like "OMG, youcould have just said 'female dog!' geeeeeezzz...weirdo"

2. Do you drive a station wagon, van, or 4x4 when everyone else drives a real car?
I don't have a car right now but all the cars I look at and think I'd like are station wagons or 4x4's. When ever my sister or father show me this 'fantastic new car' that's just come out I look at it and think "Yeah, but how many dogs could I fit in that?"

3. Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for the dogs?
And this is the way I imagine I would get around the problem of having a nice car, yet still being practical.

4. Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows, specialties, and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?
In my dreams. LOL

5. If you do go overseas, is it to London, in March, to attend Crufts?
And here we have my biggest dream holiday. My parents could never figure out why I was so desperate to go to England. Hahahaha!

6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?
I don't dare, my family would disown me. That's what I have you guys for.

7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis shoes?
Wait. There is something called 'formal wear'? Since when? LOL

8. Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?
My home is always set up for the comfort of my animals first. Much to my family's dismay.

9. Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?
No but it's cheap and ugly...perfect in case it gets destroyed (yes I know what you're thinking....'By a Chihuahua?' Hahahaha)

10. Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?
No but that's a wonderful idea. I'll remember that when I get my next dog (or two or three or four).

11. Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIC, WC, JH, MH, CH, and OTCH?
What's wrong with knowing what they mean?

12. Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines, and premium lists?
Sounds heavenly to me.

13. Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes? Dog Shows? Seminars?
Not yet, but when I get my next dog I'm sure I will.

14. If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets?
No dresses for this woman. Hahaha!

15. Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover, or squeaky toys?
Only when I visit my sister's dog (errrr...and my mum and sister of course).

16. When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they have and pity them if they don't have one?
Oh gods yes. What a sad life to be dogless.

17. Do you remember the name of a person's dog sooner than you remember their name?
I'm famous in my family for this. LOL If anyone mentions someone I was suppose to have met I always say "Wait, what dog did they have?" otherwise I can't remember them.

18. Do you find non-dog people boring?
Yes, yes, yes....even my best friend (who really dislikes dogs) gets on my nerves sometimes. The world should be full of dog people. It would be a better place.


My advice to all of you with three or more YESes is to sit back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to you and know that your life will always be filled with good friends, good dogs and will never be boring.


Cass.

[bigdoglover]

RFLOL!!!

What does it mean if I have a room totally dedicated to "The Dog"? One wall has stenciled paw prints on it, and the other walls are covered with dog puzzles (glued and hung), dog photos, etc. Around the floor are crates, tubs with leashes, collars, bowls, grooming stuff, etc. Not to mention all the tubs full of blankets and sheets FOR THE DOGS!!!!

Am I a dogaholic? Me? Who told you that?

[fancychicken]

There really are people out there that don't have dogs??? huh? interesting.

I thought everyone had giant fluff balls rolling around under their furniture.

I thought everyone went to the Salvation army to buy toys for their dogs and extra blankets.

I thought everyone got in the back of their SUV b4 buying it, made sure the seats layed down nice and flat, and then streched out to make sure there was enough room for their dogs.

Boy there are some crazy people out there. I wonder what the do all day. I bet they look at all us Dog a holics and wish the could be part of our group.
"come on man....try it, everyone does it, just one...you won't get addicted I swear!"

[briarlow]

Is it free to join, I'd better do it now!! I only said no to two one because I don't know who or what the company is!

[britishbandit]

Reading it over again, I'm guilty of:

1. Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?
2. Do you drive a station wagon, van, or 4x4 when everyone else drives a real car?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis shoes?
10. Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?
11. Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIC, WC, JH, MH, CH, and OTCH?
12. Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines, and premium lists?
15. Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover, or squeaky toys?
16. When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they have and pity them if they don't have one?
17. Do you remember the name of a person's dog sooner than you remember their name?
18. Do you find non-dog people boring?

I have a few others that aren't listed I'm guilty of too!! LOL

Are you around your dogs so much that you pick up their behavior? I sometimes tilt my head when someone talks to me in a high pitched voice...LOL.

Do people think you're strange because it doesn't bother you to "scoop" your yard, have drool towels in every room, clean eye goobers or clean up regurgatation from your dog eating something that just didn't agree with him/her?

Do you let people know ahead of time, before they visit, that if they don't like dogs, don't bother, because they live here, you don't, and they won't be put away just to make you comfortable.

Do you spend more time shopping for dog supplies that you do for things for yourself?

When you're talking to a friend or family member on the phone, sometimes even people you don't know, do you bring up your dogs at least once?

Do you spend countless hours each day on the internet, or reading books, magazines, newspaper articles, or television with topics anything to do with dogs?

You go for a walk through your neighbourhood. Do you even recognize those neighbours of yours that don't own dogs? LOL

Can you determine whether a dog lives at that home, just by looking in the back yard and seeing brown grass and bald spots?

Do you have this feeling of happiness and pride when you look at your dog? Or stare at them lovingly while they are sleeping?

Oh there's just so many.......I could go on all day!!!