The Dog's Dictionary

Crossfire Bulldogs · 11-11-2006, 12:40 PM

A friend sent this to me today, the original author is unknown or I'd give them the credit for it but I thought it was too cute not to post.

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place you nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run along side for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.

SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

IceyBlueSibes · 11-11-2006, 12:53 PM

LOL! Those are cute! And sound very true from a dogs point of view!

This one is my favorite! I can picture it happening in my head

Quote:

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run along side for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

12weimgirl · 11-11-2006, 12:58 PM

CUTE I have the horse dictonary but it just says the breeds of horses LOL.

Lauren

Jamila · 11-11-2006, 01:24 PM

I love this. It's too cute and very true LOL

Shadowkins · 11-11-2006, 03:09 PM

I love it!

Danegirl2208 · 11-11-2006, 07:13 PM

lol! I love it!

11-11-2006, 12:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
Crossfire Bulldogs Sourmug Mom Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Snuggled Between The Snorts & Snores. Posts: 7,844 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 280	The Dog's Dictionary A friend sent this to me today, the original author is unknown or I'd give them the credit for it but I thought it was too cute not to post. The Dog's Dictionary LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go. DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room. DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet, on their laps. SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place you nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop. GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run along side for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down. THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home. SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
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11-11-2006, 12:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
12weimgirl Join Date: May 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 539 Rep Power: 54	CUTE I have the horse dictonary but it just says the breeds of horses LOL. Lauren
	__________________ Lauren

11-11-2006, 01:24 PM	#4 (permalink)
Jamila Miss Fallon Dallon Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: oklahoma Posts: 2,661 Blog Entries: 5 Rep Power: 121	I love this. It's too cute and very true LOL
	__________________

11-11-2006, 03:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
Shadowkins Shadowkins Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Saskatchewan,Canada Posts: 2,726 Rep Power: 124	I love it!
	__________________

11-11-2006, 07:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
Danegirl2208 Got Dane? Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: AZ Posts: 57 Rep Power: 0	lol! I love it!
	__________________ Raw fed since June 2006

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