Nothing to do with dogs, but need advice.

[Kaiyah]

Well as everyone knows, I just moved to North Carolina. We are staying with my mom, and my little sister and brother. Who is only 14. I am also 34 weeks pregnant. Which besides our jobs is why we moved. So we could get away from NY, start over and make a better life for our baby. Before even moving here, we talked through all the details over and over again. My little brother, who is constanylt in trouble, and smokes, as well as does drugs, promised that if we came he would change. And, he would NOT smoke in the house anymore. I do not allow smoking around me, and I sure as hell do not want it and will not allow it around my baby. I have explained the reasons why, and what the risks are to my brother. And still, I find cigarette butts everywhere in the house, and last night came home to find his bong in the living room. He does whatever he wants to with his friends. I have come home to find my bedroom open and my sister just had her babysittingmoney stolen. After last night, I confronted him. He told me to shut the **** up and then continued to scream and curse. It turned into a big screaming match with him telling me he oughta hit me and also said "You worry about your baby so much, Ill kill him". I am not sure if he said "your baby" or "your dog". That sent me off and I slapped him right in the face. He left, when he came baqck, he asked my sister if "either of the [mod edit- sorry]" were in the bathroom. (talking aboutme or my fiance) She said no, and he replied with "good cause I'll slit their throats". I am not afraid of him. he is only 14, and he is alittle punk. I am due December 29th. My only fear is bringing my son home and having something happen to him, or finding that my brother is still smoking in the house, or even worse, smoking pot in the house. And I am now paranoid to leave Kaiyah here when we are not. I cannot sleep at night, All I worry about is Kaiyah, and the baby. After fighting with him last night I thought I was going to go into labor, my mom came home just to be sure. I love it here and do not want to go back to NY, but I am afraid to have my baby anywhere near him. It would be ok if I could stay home 24-7. But eventually I will have to go back to work. The cops cant do anything, or actually, they won't. Mom tries and he does what he wants anyways. There is a boys correctional facility that is willing to help, but before they can, he has to be arrested one more time, or at least have a police report filed. But no one can catch him do anything. he stole my moms jeep in the middle of the night, and the cops didnt do anything. they said they would make the report, and never did. We are out of ideas, and am worried that stressing about it will relay stress to my baby. Sorry for telling everyone about this, but i guess I just needed to vent and may get someone elses opinion. Thank you and sorry again.

[IceyBlueSibes]

That's so horrible I'm so sorry to hear about that.. I'm not really sure of anything you could do..

That's sad that the "cops" won't do anything about it.. what good are they then?

I'd be just as fearful and worried as you are if I had a baby on the way, and my beloved dog home by herself at times. Do you have a friend that may be able to watch her, or let you leave her at that house while you're out?

Best wishes to you.. I hope things turn around, or you are able to find a solution to all of that. Good luck, and God bless...

[DarknessDivine]

Well him threatening the life of ur baby or dog is illegal. It's called terroristic threatening and they can and will arrest him for that. And if they don't my advice to you is to get out ASAP. That is in no way a good situation to have a baby or dog in. I'm sorry u are going through this but I'm serious u need to notify the police about his threats.

[sheltiepups]

Isn’t smoking pot illegal? If he was high in the living room I think you can call the police on that and get him arrested.. I don’t know, good luck! I hope everything works out!

[gaddylovesdogs]

He sounds like he needs SERIOUS help otherwise he'll just get worse and be drunk and smoking all the time.....if you can't get him any help, I'd get out of there, along with your sister...you don't know what he'd do.
Its kind of strange the police wouldn't do anything if he's doing such things....everyone gets mad, but c'mon.... And I'd be worrying a lot too, both for myself and relatives, but for my dogs. How does he even get the drugs and cigarettes? At school? See if your mom can lower his privileges....such as not being able to be around his "friends". Obviously these "friends" are more like dangerous idiots that are encouraging him to be evil.

[Pugdawg1]

I'd leave. If the cops aren't doing anything, then I would be long gone. He may only be 14, but that doesn't mean he can't hurt/kill someone or something. I'd take my dog, pack my stuff and get out and figure something else out. It is not worth it to be in that situation.

[Crossfire Bulldogs]

I'm sorry your having such a terrible time with your brother but here are a few things to keep in mind, as a "cop" I can tell you the domestics involving teens are difficult if not impossible to file charges against the juvenile involved unless there is obvious signs of battery or something of that nature. As for taking your mothers vehicle, first off your mother has to voluntarily say that she wants him arrested for it, sign paperwork stating that it is in fact stolen property and agree to have him arrested...plus he has to found with possession of the vehicle to be arrested for it.

Each state has its own statutes dealing with domestic violence, for instance here where I'm at it would have been you being arrested for slapping your brother, please don't misunderstand, I'm in no way saying what you did was right or wrong as I wasn't there but please remember that just as with everyone here reading your words, the officers weren't there and can only go by what they see and have been told. Without finding your brother in possession of illegal drugs or things such as his bong they have no way of making a charge stick.....that bong could literally belong to anyone in the house as far as the law is concerned.

My suggestion, next time your brother has friends over or is in his room smoking away on that bong....make the call to the police and when they arrive open the door and lead them to your brother. Talk to your mother and find out just how badly she wants him locked up, if she's willing to cooperate and your city has a curfew time, every time he's out past that curfew have your mother report him as a runaway and make sure she makes it CLEAR to the officer that if he's found she does not want him brought home but taken into custody for it.

Although it may not seem like it, officers do try to handle situations like this but without total cooperation from the parent as well as time and proper evidence its impossible for them to do their job.

[Global Paw]

Call the police.

[Kaiyah]

I am aware of what the law is and that as far as the cops go, their hands are tied. I also know that as far as the law goes I was wrong for slapping him. As far as I am concerned, I do not believe I was. Anyhow, that is our whole problem. No one can catch him in the act. He either come back and tells us stuffhe's done, he comes home high, or we find evidence of what he has done. The cops did in fact catch him with my moms Jeep. But since they all know her and are friends with her, they let him go with a warning and had another officer drive the jeep home. I guess they thought that was what she wanted. When she went the next day to try and have charges filed, the Srg. tried to find out which officers it was. No one would fess up, therefore no proof he took the jeep, and no report. I did in fact call the police that night for his threats. But, it was my word against his with no witnesses. They believed me but still had to follow the law. If I did go ahead and try to file charges, it would end up in court and more than likely the only thing that would come of it would be that I'd have child abuse charges against me for slapping him. I was well aware of that and figured that was what would happen. But I was not gonna let him threaten my babies/dogs life and think it was okay. Even the sherriff said he would have done the same. We are all at a loss as to what to do to help or stop him. Mom has told him his friends were not allowed here, he could not go anywhere, etc. But we all work and cannot be with him 24-7 to make sure he obeys. As soon as he is left with a babysitter he takes off from their house, or calls his friends over here. The babysitter calls the cops and they only come, call mom, then have the kids leave. Not much more they can do. I would absolutely love to move out. But, we used what we had to move down here, and we've only been here and working for 2 weeks. We cannot afford to move for at least another month. By that time, the baby will be born and I will be out of work for awhile, therefore unable to move into a new house. Thats the reason we are staying with my mom. So my fiance could work and I would be ok to be out of work when the baby was born. And I would have help. We wouldnt have to struggle while I was out of work. It's hard not knowing what to do, or being unable to do anything. Thank you everyone for your help and advice. Sorry for using this forum for this.

[sthrnbelle]

Originally Posted by Crossfire Bulldogs

My suggestion, next time your brother has friends over or is in his room smoking away on that bong....make the call to the police and when they arrive open the door and lead them to your brother. Talk to your mother and find out just how badly she wants him locked up, if she's willing to cooperate and your city has a curfew time, every time he's out past that curfew have your mother report him as a runaway and make sure she makes it CLEAR to the officer that if he's found she does not want him brought home but taken into custody for it.

Kaiyah, please follow Crossfire Bulldogs advice. That's the best that I have heard. You really need to sit down and talk to your mom and let her know how you feel about your brother's behavior. Having your first child can be a nery stressful time. I wish you the best of luck.

[Rip's Girl]

I agree with Sthrnbelle. Crossfire has given you a great suggestion, I would try that.
Is there anyone you know in NC that you can leave Kaiyah with while you are gone, to prevent him from being hurt? Personally I wouldn't trust a little creep like that with a stuffed animal in the house.

[animallover0200]

Kaiyah, So sorry to hear what is going on with you and your situation. I think Crossfire Bulldogs give some great advice, as well as the others. The only other thing I would like to add is maybe setting up a video camera. That is the only evidence that could (possibly) support your story or get some action from the police. Also, no matter how mad or angry you get Do Not Hit or touch him, this for your own good. You don't want things to back fire on you . What does your mom want to do? If she continues to allow this to happen you should really seriously consider moving out. Don’t put your dog and your new baby in harms way. I really don’t know what else to tell you but maybe contact your local justice department (the link I provided below) and call and asked questions and get legal advice.
I wish you the best of luck.

http://www.ncdoj.com/victimscitizens...c_violence.jsp

[Lil'Paws]

Kaiyah, Sorry to hear you are having such a problem with your brother. I can relate to you problem.
My dh's nephew steals what ever he can get his hands on to sell for drugs. I don't know if you read a post I wrote a few weeks ago. But, In the post it I said my dh had put our house up for sale.
Well it was because of the nephew of his.He was stealing radios,speakers, alums. wheel off of my dh's cars. We have a towing company in case your wondering why radios etc.
Well I got even with the nephew. I decided it was time someone done something and I did just that. I called the police and got them to come and make reports and finger prints. And now he may be headed to prison. All because hes been in so much trouble and been on probation. Serves the little idiot right for stealing. And I'll do just this same thing every time something gets gone.
His Grandparents should have corrected him earlier. They would say well he does it because hes not right in the head. Its because he had that motorcycle wreck when he was 10.
I don't care if his family gets mad. This is my house and I'm not going any where. Well we had a buyer last week and I got worried about moving and told him to take it off the market. I've come to the conclusion that It don't matter where we live if he wants something hes gona take it. Well, maybe not now since I put my foot down. Thats what should have been done a long time ago and maybe it wouldn't have progressed to this.

I do hope it gets better for you.

[gaddylovesdogs]

Originally Posted by sthrnbelle

Kaiyah, please follow Crossfire Bulldogs advice.

Ditto , and good luck. Hope everything turns out good.