Does this make me a horrible person?

***Cassiepeia*** · 02-01-2007, 05:46 PM

My parents have been going overseas every year for the past few years and this xmas my step-father told me that he wanted me to get a passport. I asked why and my mother told me it was because she and my stepdad had been talking about taking me overseas for a holiday.
I'm not exactly sure why they want me to go with them, but I'm not complaining.

I'm really excited about it actually. I've never been to an island off the coast of Australia, let alone actually overseas.

However, here is my dilema...Jesse (as you all know) is old and ill. He needs medication twice a day and someone to monitor his weight. This is not something I can leave to any relatives, I'm the only 'dog person' in my entire family and I don't trust anyone to do it.

I can leave him with my vet for the 2 weeks, she's happy to board him and would take excellent care of him (she's almost as mad about him as I am). But I don't know if he would be depressed or not...my father would happily visit him daily so he won't be cut off from his family.
It also worries me that something bad might happen while I'm away, although he's a strong little booger and just keeps on keepin' on, despite everything and the vet may be the best place for him since he is ill. So perhaps that particular fear is unfounded?

I desperately want to go on this little holiday and my mother is full steam ahead planning, even though she knows about Jesse and my worries. Like I said, she's not a dog person so she doesn't sympathise.

So....I can go on the holiday for two weeks, have fun doing something I may never, ever get to do again, leaving my baby boy with his vet for a short time. OR I can back out of the holiday and keep caring for my guy until his time comes and hope at some point I do get the chance to travel again.

I'm so conflicted.

I don't know what to do. The holiday means even more to my mum and stepdad than it does to me. They're thrilled to pieces. Even sent a passport application and a voucher to buy a suitcase with my b'day card this year. *sigh*

I don't know if I'm asking for advice, or just asking for reassurance. It's depressing the heck outta me today.

Cass.

P.S. The holiday wouldn't be for many months yet. Last year they traveled around August.

sammy · 02-01-2007, 05:58 PM

ack. I can see your dilema.

Isn't Jesse 17 or 18 or something very elderly and in fairly ill health? To be brutally honest, I probably wouldn't kennel him at the vets. I would worry that the stress of it would be too much for him- because realistically he probably won't be around too much longer regardless and I wouldn't want him to die while I was away or as a result of the stress of being boarded. that would be my big fear.
I know that's probably not the popular answer or what you want to hear but that's how I feel.

***Cassiepeia*** · 02-01-2007, 06:02 PM

It's how I feel too, but I see him every day, acting like nothing's wrong with him and I keep second guessing...saying 'oh, I'm over reacting, he'll be fine'.

I might speak to my vet and see what she thinks as well before I make my final decision.

I actually feel really bad just 'thinking' about this.

Cass.

Beryl · 02-01-2007, 06:19 PM

I'm mixed about this.

On one hand, if something happened to him while you were gone, it would be devastating to you. Would you feel that you were to blame for leaving him? I don't think you should blame yourself because it could happen at any time. I feel that all things work out for the best and it might have been better for you not to be there. Even though I state that, I don't want my dog's spirit to leave his body without me being able to say "good-bye".

OTOH, I don't like the idea of you putting your life on hold this way. Jesse would stay with the doctor and would get the best of care. He would be seen by your father each day so he wouldn't be abandoned by family. Also, it is only for 2 weeks. You need to be able to get out and see the world and shouldn't have to wait until Jesse is gone to do that.

I don't know what I'd do. Right now, I think I'd pray on it, ask God to preserve my dog while I was gone, and trust that his perfect will would be done. But that is me.

calgal · 02-01-2007, 06:19 PM

I would be in the same situation. Can you take him with you? If not, who does he like to be with other than you? Could your dad take care of him? I don't know the little guy well enough to say he would be fine without you for a couple of weeks. I do know that stress, anxiety will make my little ones have bloody diarreah, so I could never leave them, but I don't know about Jesse. You would know better than us if he would be ok. Boy, I'm no help am I.

britishbandit · 02-01-2007, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beryl

I'm mixed about this.

On one hand, if something happened to him while you were gone, it would be devastating to you. Would you feel that you were to blame for leaving him? I don't think you should blame yourself because it could happen at any time. I feel that all things work out for the best and it might have been better for you not to be there. Even though I state that, I don't want my dog's spirit to leave his body without me being able to say "good-bye".

OTOH, I don't like the idea of you putting your life on hold this way. Jesse would stay with the doctor and would get the best of care. He would be seen by your father each day so he wouldn't be abandoned by family. Also, it is only for 2 weeks. You need to be able to get out and see the world and shouldn't have to wait until Jesse is gone to do that.

I don't know what I'd do. Right now, I think I'd pray on it, ask God to preserve my dog while I was gone, and trust that his perfect will would be done. But that is me.

I agree. But you have some time to really think this through still Cass, if I were you, I'd go ahead with it, really. You could always back out later if need be. Just make sure you get cancellation insurance on the flight. I'd definately take the opportunity, but on the other hand, if something happened between now and then where you didn't want to leave him, the money for the flight (at least the majority), would be refunded.

TinyAlbinoDancer · 02-01-2007, 06:54 PM

Talk to your vet first. Maybe you could ask if she would be willing to board him in her home, if that would be less stressful? I wish I could take him for you, Cass!

I'm not sure if I personally would go, but my advice to you is to go.

I can tell this is something you really, really want, and if you can weigh the possible consequences (Jesse dying while you're gone, etc.) and still are wanting to go, I think you really should. You know what you're comfortable with and can cope with (some of us would absolutely want to be with our pet when they died, some of us could cope ok if we weren't), so take that into consideration. And don't feel like you're a worse owner than anybody because you'd be ok not being there if Jesse went while you were gone or something. Everyone's different, and it doesn't mean you love Jesse any less.

You have my support with whatever you decide!

Jamila · 02-01-2007, 07:09 PM

Oh Cass what a crazy situation. I would talk to the vet and see what she thinks about the issue. Like others said there still is plenty of time to plan for all this. I know something will work out. Everything happens for a reason.

SmilingDogs · 02-01-2007, 07:14 PM

Hi, Cass,
As I read your post, this is what really stuck out:

<<I can leave him with my vet for the 2 weeks, she's happy to board him and would take excellent care of him (she's almost as mad about him as I am). But I don't know if he would be depressed or not
...although he's a strong little booger and just keeps on keepin' on, despite everything and the vet may be the best place for him since he is ill.>>>>>>

Wow, should you decide to go, IMO those sentences sum up why, maybe, you should :>) Not only an excellent Vet, but one who, personally, loves him, too!! That's beautiful!
Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I believe I would. But ONLY if I had a vet like her.

She sounds awesome.
Best wishes!!!!!!!!!!

***Cassiepeia*** · 02-01-2007, 07:32 PM

Thanks so much guys. I feel much better after reading your replies.

I'm going to talk to the vet first and think about this for a little while longer. I'll get my passport ready anyway...that's handy even if I don't travel overseas right now...and make sure my mother understands my dilema. I won't stop her from making plans, just so long as she knows I may have to back out if something happens and Jesse gets really bad or I don't feel he's up to me leaving.

My sister was just talking to me and told me to think of it more like when my grandmother was in our mother's care and she would have to be left in respite on rare occasions because there was no avoiding my mother being away (and no one could better take care of Grandma than the people at the respite centre). It's always a heartbreaking thing to do, but not quite as devastating, as mum though, from Grandma's perspective. (if that makes sense?)

Calgal...my father can't look after Jesse, although I wish he could. He loves him to pieces but I wouldn't trust him to give him the medication and he's too busy to be able to give him the care he needs.

Kalena...Thanks for the idea, I'll ask my vet if maybe she could board him at her home. That really would be better for him.

SmilingDogs...Simone is an awesome vet. Best one I've come across. I think you're right, I shouldn't be so worried since he'd be in such excellent care with someone who genuinely loves him.

Cass.

Pearlulm · 02-01-2007, 07:40 PM

Wow! That is really a hard one. There is no right and wrong answer. The vet seems like an excellent choice. If something (heaven forbid) happened when you were gone you know that the vet could do all she can for him. Maybe before you make a decision you could take him to the vet for a day and see how he reacts.

IceyBlueSibes · 02-01-2007, 07:45 PM

Cass, I can only echoe what everyone else has already said. I just wanted to know that whatever decision you choose, it won't make you any less of an owner. You are such an awesome owner for Jesse. Sticking with him through all of his health issues speaks a lot. Not everyone is willing to take on an ill dog, and one that's as old as he is.

You're a wonderful owner Cass. Don't EVER think you're not for a decision you may make. We all love you and Jesse here. We're behind you 100% in whatever you do

***Rivsky*** · 02-01-2007, 07:51 PM

Cass you poor thing - what a tough decision for you - and like everyone else has said whatever you do decide doesn't make you any less of an owner to Jesse.

I think speaking to your vet is the way to go - given Jesse's age your vet probably knows Jesse just about as well as you do and by the sounds of it wouldn't tell you he is likely to be ok if that wasn't the case.

Beryl · 02-01-2007, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cassiepeia

My sister was just talking to me and told me to think of it more like when my grandmother was in our mother's care and she would have to be left in respite on rare occasions because there was no avoiding my mother being away (and no one could better take care of Grandma than the people at the respite centre). It's always a heartbreaking thing to do, but not quite as devastating, as mum though, from Grandma's perspective. (if that makes sense?)

It absolutely does and I was thinking something similar but didn't want to mention it. Some people are insulted when we compare dogs with people.

However, if you were Jesse, wouldn't you want your caretaker to go on a 2 week vacation?

If so, then go and do not worry about Jesse. If you are religious, put it in God's hands. Enjoy yourself and know that Jesse is in good hands and would be glad that you are having a holiday.

DogLover8 · 02-01-2007, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammy

ack.

02-01-2007, 05:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
*Cassiepeia* Chihuahua Mum Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: NSW, Australia Posts: 8,281 Blog Entries: 9 Rep Power: 284	Does this make me a horrible person? My parents have been going overseas every year for the past few years and this xmas my step-father told me that he wanted me to get a passport. I asked why and my mother told me it was because she and my stepdad had been talking about taking me overseas for a holiday. I'm not exactly sure why they want me to go with them, but I'm not complaining. I'm really excited about it actually. I've never been to an island off the coast of Australia, let alone actually overseas. However, here is my dilema...Jesse (as you all know) is old and ill. He needs medication twice a day and someone to monitor his weight. This is not something I can leave to any relatives, I'm the only 'dog person' in my entire family and I don't trust anyone to do it. I can leave him with my vet for the 2 weeks, she's happy to board him and would take excellent care of him (she's almost as mad about him as I am). But I don't know if he would be depressed or not...my father would happily visit him daily so he won't be cut off from his family. It also worries me that something bad might happen while I'm away, although he's a strong little booger and just keeps on keepin' on, despite everything and the vet may be the best place for him since he is ill. So perhaps that particular fear is unfounded? I desperately want to go on this little holiday and my mother is full steam ahead planning, even though she knows about Jesse and my worries. Like I said, she's not a dog person so she doesn't sympathise. So....I can go on the holiday for two weeks, have fun doing something I may never, ever get to do again, leaving my baby boy with his vet for a short time. OR I can back out of the holiday and keep caring for my guy until his time comes and hope at some point I do get the chance to travel again. I'm so conflicted. I don't know what to do. The holiday means even more to my mum and stepdad than it does to me. They're thrilled to pieces. Even sent a passport application and a voucher to buy a suitcase with my b'day card this year. sigh I don't know if I'm asking for advice, or just asking for reassurance. It's depressing the heck outta me today. Cass. P.S. The holiday wouldn't be for many months yet. Last year they traveled around August.
	__________________ Say NO! to animals in pet shops. Rescue a friend instead: Petfinder Get more out of Global Paw. Check out these great features. Book Club ~ Blogs ~ Art Classes ~ Woof Review As a member of Global paw staff my opinions are not necessarily those of the website or the owner.

02-01-2007, 06:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
Beryl Latte, Boo, & Phoxx's Mom Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Colorado Posts: 1,120 Rep Power: 90	I'm mixed about this. On one hand, if something happened to him while you were gone, it would be devastating to you. Would you feel that you were to blame for leaving him? I don't think you should blame yourself because it could happen at any time. I feel that all things work out for the best and it might have been better for you not to be there. Even though I state that, I don't want my dog's spirit to leave his body without me being able to say "good-bye". OTOH, I don't like the idea of you putting your life on hold this way. Jesse would stay with the doctor and would get the best of care. He would be seen by your father each day so he wouldn't be abandoned by family. Also, it is only for 2 weeks. You need to be able to get out and see the world and shouldn't have to wait until Jesse is gone to do that. I don't know what I'd do. Right now, I think I'd pray on it, ask God to preserve my dog while I was gone, and trust that his perfect will would be done. But that is me.
	__________________

02-01-2007, 06:54 PM	#7 (permalink)
TinyAlbinoDancer Always room for one more Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: CA Posts: 2,580 Rep Power: 166	Talk to your vet first. Maybe you could ask if she would be willing to board him in her home, if that would be less stressful? I wish I could take him for you, Cass! I'm not sure if I personally would go, but my advice to you is to go. I can tell this is something you really, really want, and if you can weigh the possible consequences (Jesse dying while you're gone, etc.) and still are wanting to go, I think you really should. You know what you're comfortable with and can cope with (some of us would absolutely want to be with our pet when they died, some of us could cope ok if we weren't), so take that into consideration. And don't feel like you're a worse owner than anybody because you'd be ok not being there if Jesse went while you were gone or something. Everyone's different, and it doesn't mean you love Jesse any less. You have my support with whatever you decide!
	__________________ ~Karen Missie~Trixie~Little Guy~Ollie

02-01-2007, 07:09 PM	#8 (permalink)
Jamila Miss Fallon Dallon Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: oklahoma Posts: 2,767 Blog Entries: 5 Rep Power: 131	Oh Cass what a crazy situation. I would talk to the vet and see what she thinks about the issue. Like others said there still is plenty of time to plan for all this. I know something will work out. Everything happens for a reason.
	__________________

02-01-2007, 07:14 PM	#9 (permalink)
SmilingDogs Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In the NE (but I LOVE Chicago!!) Posts: 86 Rep Power: 36	Hi, Cass, As I read your post, this is what really stuck out: <<I can leave him with my vet for the 2 weeks, she's happy to board him and would take excellent care of him (she's almost as mad about him as I am). But I don't know if he would be depressed or not ...although he's a strong little booger and just keeps on keepin' on, despite everything and the vet may be the best place for him since he is ill.>>>>>> Wow, should you decide to go, IMO those sentences sum up why, maybe, you should :>) Not only an excellent Vet, but one who, personally, loves him, too!! That's beautiful! Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I believe I would. But ONLY if I had a vet like her. She sounds awesome. Best wishes!!!!!!!!!!
	__________________ Dear God, Please let me be half the person my dog thinks I am Last edited by SmilingDogs : 02-01-2007 at 07:33 PM.

02-01-2007, 05:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
sammy herding dog lover Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: western canada Posts: 1,089 Rep Power: 113	ack. I can see your dilema. Isn't Jesse 17 or 18 or something very elderly and in fairly ill health? To be brutally honest, I probably wouldn't kennel him at the vets. I would worry that the stress of it would be too much for him- because realistically he probably won't be around too much longer regardless and I wouldn't want him to die while I was away or as a result of the stress of being boarded. that would be my big fear. I know that's probably not the popular answer or what you want to hear but that's how I feel.

02-01-2007, 06:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
*Cassiepeia* Chihuahua Mum Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: NSW, Australia Posts: 8,281 Blog Entries: 9 Rep Power: 284	It's how I feel too, but I see him every day, acting like nothing's wrong with him and I keep second guessing...saying 'oh, I'm over reacting, he'll be fine'. I might speak to my vet and see what she thinks as well before I make my final decision. I actually feel really bad just 'thinking' about this. Cass.

02-01-2007, 06:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
calgal My Yorkster kids! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: central ca. coast Posts: 6,807 Rep Power: 232	I would be in the same situation. Can you take him with you? If not, who does he like to be with other than you? Could your dad take care of him? I don't know the little guy well enough to say he would be fine without you for a couple of weeks. I do know that stress, anxiety will make my little ones have bloody diarreah, so I could never leave them, but I don't know about Jesse. You would know better than us if he would be ok. Boy, I'm no help am I.

02-01-2007, 07:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
*Cassiepeia* Chihuahua Mum Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: NSW, Australia Posts: 8,281 Blog Entries: 9 Rep Power: 284	Thanks so much guys. I feel much better after reading your replies. I'm going to talk to the vet first and think about this for a little while longer. I'll get my passport ready anyway...that's handy even if I don't travel overseas right now...and make sure my mother understands my dilema. I won't stop her from making plans, just so long as she knows I may have to back out if something happens and Jesse gets really bad or I don't feel he's up to me leaving. My sister was just talking to me and told me to think of it more like when my grandmother was in our mother's care and she would have to be left in respite on rare occasions because there was no avoiding my mother being away (and no one could better take care of Grandma than the people at the respite centre). It's always a heartbreaking thing to do, but not quite as devastating, as mum though, from Grandma's perspective. (if that makes sense?) Calgal...my father can't look after Jesse, although I wish he could. He loves him to pieces but I wouldn't trust him to give him the medication and he's too busy to be able to give him the care he needs. Kalena...Thanks for the idea, I'll ask my vet if maybe she could board him at her home. That really would be better for him. SmilingDogs...Simone is an awesome vet. Best one I've come across. I think you're right, I shouldn't be so worried since he'd be in such excellent care with someone who genuinely loves him. Cass.

02-01-2007, 07:40 PM	#11 (permalink)
Pearlulm Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 376 Rep Power: 66	Wow! That is really a hard one. There is no right and wrong answer. The vet seems like an excellent choice. If something (heaven forbid) happened when you were gone you know that the vet could do all she can for him. Maybe before you make a decision you could take him to the vet for a day and see how he reacts.
Pearlulm Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 376 Rep Power: 66	__________________ Because violence can only breed more violence and suffering, our struggle must be nonviolent and free of hatred. -The Dalai Lama Peaches, Cindy Lou & Gretchen

02-01-2007, 07:45 PM	#12 (permalink)
IceyBlueSibes Eyes = Mirror to the soul Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Jupiter, Fla. Posts: 7,757 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 273	Cass, I can only echoe what everyone else has already said. I just wanted to know that whatever decision you choose, it won't make you any less of an owner. You are such an awesome owner for Jesse. Sticking with him through all of his health issues speaks a lot. Not everyone is willing to take on an ill dog, and one that's as old as he is. You're a wonderful owner Cass. Don't EVER think you're not for a decision you may make. We all love you and Jesse here. We're behind you 100% in whatever you do
	__________________ Sheiba, Denali, Ike, Nitro (Siberian Husky), Kelso (GSD x), Lugar (Boxer/Pit x), Willah (Shepherd/Husky x), Tibby, Cheech, Chong (Chihuahua), and any foster we have in the house! 9 Kitty cats!

02-01-2007, 07:51 PM	#13 (permalink)
*Rivsky* Super Moderator Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: South Australia Posts: 3,796 Blog Entries: 6 Rep Power: 141	Cass you poor thing - what a tough decision for you - and like everyone else has said whatever you do decide doesn't make you any less of an owner to Jesse. I think speaking to your vet is the way to go - given Jesse's age your vet probably knows Jesse just about as well as you do and by the sounds of it wouldn't tell you he is likely to be ok if that wasn't the case.
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