Not sure where to post this or if I'm allowed, but sooo funny!!

Marina · 03-24-2007, 01:46 PM

HOW TO ADMINISTER A PILL TO A CAT

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss-back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie the little b's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to Give A Dog A Pill:
1) Wrap it in bacon.

12weimgirl · 03-24-2007, 01:56 PM

LOL thats funny haha!!

Lauren

IceyBlueSibes · 03-24-2007, 02:07 PM

LOL I remember getting that as an email a while back. Sooo funny!

mrsgrubby · 03-24-2007, 04:30 PM

why is this in the debate section?

Marina · 03-24-2007, 04:50 PM

Sorry, I didn't know where else to put it, just wanted to give everyone a laugh that was all.

Pearlulm · 03-24-2007, 05:23 PM

I can so relate! Our kitty is on steroids for 30 days. What fun.

***Swiftwind*** · 03-24-2007, 05:30 PM

That's too funny!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marina

Sorry, I didn't know where else to put it, just wanted to give everyone a laugh that was all.

Anything like this can just go in the 'Global Paw' (general discussion) forum.

Marina · 03-25-2007, 02:02 PM

Thank you for your kindness, Swiftwind, being new I hadn't a clue where to put it. My intentions were to give everyone a good laugh not to offend any one person.

IceyBlueSibes · 03-25-2007, 02:27 PM

If you do happen to post it in the wrong forum, staff will move it for you to the proper forum. Once you start posting more often, you'll get the hang of where things go

DogLover8 · 03-25-2007, 02:41 PM

That was too funny! LOL!

Beryl · 03-25-2007, 04:22 PM

This was my first time reading this one so I got quite a chuckle.

Ritz459 · 03-25-2007, 06:38 PM

ROFL!!!

So true. I'm lucky that Rush takes so well to his insulin shots...he just needs to be eating his canned kitty food and all his well.
On the other hand, when Rose needed to take pills after she got into the mouse poisen...I had to wrap it up in bread or she wouldn't take the darn things. Even then she kinda looked at me lick, "There are pills in here, aren't there?" lol

***Swiftwind*** · 03-25-2007, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marina

Thank you for your kindness, Swiftwind, being new I hadn't a clue where to put it. My intentions were to give everyone a good laugh not to offend any one person.

No problem!

It took me a while to get around, but soon enough you'll know where everything is.

03-24-2007, 01:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
Marina Marina Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Cumbria, United Kingdom Posts: 29 Rep Power: 0	Not sure where to post this or if I'm allowed, but sooo funny!! HOW TO ADMINISTER A PILL TO A CAT 1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. 7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss-back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap. 13) Tie the little b's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. How to Give A Dog A Pill: 1) Wrap it in bacon.

03-24-2007, 01:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
12weimgirl Join Date: May 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 539 Rep Power: 54	LOL thats funny haha!! Lauren
	__________________ Lauren

03-24-2007, 02:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
IceyBlueSibes Eyes = Mirror to the soul Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Jupiter, Fla. Posts: 7,601 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 263	LOL I remember getting that as an email a while back. Sooo funny!
	__________________ Sheiba, Denali, Ike, Nitro (Siberian Husky), Kelso (GSD x), Lugar (Boxer/Pit x), Willah (Shepherd/Husky x), Tibby, Cheech, Chong (Chihuahua), and any foster we have in the house! 9 Kitty cats!

03-24-2007, 05:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
Pearlulm Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 376 Rep Power: 62	I can so relate! Our kitty is on steroids for 30 days. What fun.
Pearlulm Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 376 Rep Power: 62	__________________ Because violence can only breed more violence and suffering, our struggle must be nonviolent and free of hatred. -The Dalai Lama Peaches, Cindy Lou & Gretchen

03-25-2007, 02:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
IceyBlueSibes Eyes = Mirror to the soul Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Jupiter, Fla. Posts: 7,601 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 263	If you do happen to post it in the wrong forum, staff will move it for you to the proper forum. Once you start posting more often, you'll get the hang of where things go
	__________________ Sheiba, Denali, Ike, Nitro (Siberian Husky), Kelso (GSD x), Lugar (Boxer/Pit x), Willah (Shepherd/Husky x), Tibby, Cheech, Chong (Chihuahua), and any foster we have in the house! 9 Kitty cats!

03-24-2007, 04:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
mrsgrubby Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 2,476 Rep Power: 140	why is this in the debate section?

03-24-2007, 04:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
Marina Marina Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Cumbria, United Kingdom Posts: 29 Rep Power: 0	Sorry, I didn't know where else to put it, just wanted to give everyone a laugh that was all.

03-25-2007, 02:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
Marina Marina Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Cumbria, United Kingdom Posts: 29 Rep Power: 0	Thank you for your kindness, Swiftwind, being new I hadn't a clue where to put it. My intentions were to give everyone a good laugh not to offend any one person.

03-25-2007, 02:41 PM	#10 (permalink)
DogLover8 Collie owner Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 2,773 Rep Power: 100	That was too funny! LOL!
	__________________ -Dave-

03-25-2007, 04:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
Beryl Latte's and Boo's Mom Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Colorado Posts: 1,050 Rep Power: 84	This was my first time reading this one so I got quite a chuckle.

03-25-2007, 06:38 PM	#12 (permalink)
Ritz459 Fuzzbutt attack Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Indiana Posts: 5,246 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 214	ROFL!!! So true. I'm lucky that Rush takes so well to his insulin shots...he just needs to be eating his canned kitty food and all his well. On the other hand, when Rose needed to take pills after she got into the mouse poisen...I had to wrap it up in bread or she wouldn't take the darn things. Even then she kinda looked at me lick, "There are pills in here, aren't there?" lol
	__________________ ~Blackie, Rose, Chloe (dogs), Pheobe (cat), Casey, Dameon (ferrets), Joey ('Tiel), Dot, Louie (cavies), Pickachu (hamster), Rush (R.I.P. 15yrs), Lucy (R.I.P. 4yrs)~

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