PARENT - Job Description

DarknessDivine · 01-21-2005, 07:33 AM

PARENT - Job Description
POSITION :

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far
away cities! Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also
required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at
least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be
willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget
repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple
homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be
indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of
a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery
operated devices. Must
always hope for the best but be prepared for the
worst. Must assume final,
complete accountability for the quality of the end
product!
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work
throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for
years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your
skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you!
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training
offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and
bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them
whatever is left. The oddest thing about this
reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no
tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free
hugs for life if you play your cards right.

sunny98 · 01-21-2005, 09:40 AM

This is cute! I have seen it before and it always makes me laugh. How true it is though!

***Carrie*** · 01-21-2005, 10:19 AM

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can vouche for that....been a Mom for almost 25 yrs. Yup...can sure relate to all that. Very funny. (on the serious side though....it's all painfully true) Thanks for sharing.

gaddylovesdogs · 01-21-2005, 11:28 AM

LOL. I read my Mom some of it and she loved it.

sheltiepups · 01-21-2005, 11:55 AM

lol that probably is true.. but when I'm mad at my mom I get over it until I need more then $5. .. I can that that from my dad.. ^_^

dollface · 01-21-2005, 01:01 PM

LOl

So true so true

01-21-2005, 07:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
DarknessDivine Boxer Mom Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Louisville,Ky Posts: 1,239 Rep Power: 105	PARENT - Job Description PARENT - Job Description POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product! Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you! PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
	__________________ Boxer Talk

01-21-2005, 11:28 AM	#4 (permalink)
gaddylovesdogs don't have a cow! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: USA Posts: 3,426 Rep Power: 155	LOL. I read my Mom some of it and she loved it.
	__________________ Looking for a new pet? Search www.petfinder.com for your next love. If you have a heart, please help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. www.redcross.org

01-21-2005, 11:55 AM	#5 (permalink)
sheltiepups Semper Fidelis - Marines Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: somewhere Posts: 2,438 Rep Power: 132	lol that probably is true.. but when I'm mad at my mom I get over it until I need more then $5. .. I can that that from my dad.. ^_^
	__________________ Breezy & her shelties Thank you Dawn, for a wonderful siggy :) 2cutepups

01-21-2005, 01:01 PM	#6 (permalink)
dollface 4 Boston Terriers Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Canada Saskatchewan Posts: 903 Rep Power: 103	LOl So true so true
	__________________ The only thing worse then a fool Is the person that argue's with one A dog is only as smart as their owner

01-21-2005, 09:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
sunny98 Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mt Vernon Wa Posts: 822 Rep Power: 101	This is cute! I have seen it before and it always makes me laugh. How true it is though!

01-21-2005, 10:19 AM	#3 (permalink)
*Carrie* Super Moderator Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: north panhandle of Idaho Posts: 7,551 Rep Power: 292	HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can vouche for that....been a Mom for almost 25 yrs. Yup...can sure relate to all that. Very funny. (on the serious side though....it's all painfully true) Thanks for sharing.

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