Dear Dogs and Cats,

holly13 · 02-15-2005, 10:18 AM

Not sure if any of you have read this before, but a friend just sent it to me, thought you all might enjoy! Author is unknown

Dear Dogs and Cats,
>
>The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other ishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
>
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
>
>I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
>
>For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
>
>The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
>
>To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
>
>Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
>
>1. They live here. You don't.
>
>2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
>furniture.(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
>
>3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>
>4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

sunny98 · 02-15-2005, 10:23 AM

Cute! I have seen this before.

B.B.'s mom · 02-15-2005, 11:09 AM

OMG!! That is hysterical!!! hey holly..are you trying to get me in trouble for reading personal emails while at work?? i am laughing out loud over here!!

IceyBlueSibes · 02-15-2005, 12:44 PM

I posted that a little while back

But it always makes me laugh

Ritz459 · 02-15-2005, 02:15 PM

LOL yep, I've seen that before but it still makes me laugh. lol

02-15-2005, 10:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
holly13 Belgian Groenendael Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Maine Posts: 13 Rep Power: 67	Dear Dogs and Cats, Not sure if any of you have read this before, but a friend just sent it to me, thought you all might enjoy! Author is unknown Dear Dogs and Cats, > >The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other ishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. > >I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. > >For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. > >The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! > >To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: > >Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: > >1. They live here. You don't. > >2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the >furniture.(That's why they call it "fur"niture.) > >3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. > >4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

02-15-2005, 10:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
sunny98 Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mt Vernon Wa Posts: 822 Rep Power: 96	Cute! I have seen this before.
	__________________ Erin, Sunny and the gang

02-15-2005, 12:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
IceyBlueSibes Eyes = Mirror to the soul Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Jupiter, Fla. Posts: 7,677 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 268	I posted that a little while back But it always makes me laugh
	__________________ Sheiba, Denali, Ike, Nitro (Siberian Husky), Kelso (GSD x), Lugar (Boxer/Pit x), Willah (Shepherd/Husky x), Tibby, Cheech, Chong (Chihuahua), and any foster we have in the house! 9 Kitty cats!

02-15-2005, 02:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ritz459 Fuzzbutt attack Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Indiana Posts: 5,440 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 219	LOL yep, I've seen that before but it still makes me laugh. lol
	__________________ ~Blackie, Rose, Chloe (dogs), Pheobe (cat), Casey, Dameon (ferrets), Joey ('Tiel), Dot, Louie (cavies), Pickachu (hamster), Rush (R.I.P. 15yrs), Lucy (R.I.P. 4yrs)~

02-15-2005, 11:09 AM	#3 (permalink)
B.B.'s mom malti-poo Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 112 Rep Power: 74	OMG!! That is hysterical!!! hey holly..are you trying to get me in trouble for reading personal emails while at work?? i am laughing out loud over here!!

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