Doggy Dictionary

DaxAriel's toy · 08-06-2004, 09:51 PM

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.

SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LEAN: Every good dogs's response to the command "sit !", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require.....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
__________________

Pugdawg1 · 08-06-2004, 09:54 PM

Hahaha... I like that. Too true!

Rip's Girl · 08-06-2004, 10:05 PM

Hehe, I love that. The "thunder" definition especially reminds me of how Buster used to be. (He's too old to care about the end of the world anymore..

)

Taz · 08-07-2004, 05:36 AM

Thats so true

Lil'Paws · 08-07-2004, 05:47 AM

Thanks for sharing DaxArielstoy..

Slave2Jinx · 08-07-2004, 04:12 PM

LOL, how funny!

***Carrie*** · 08-07-2004, 05:19 PM

Ha ha...that's cute. Thanks for sharing.

Carrie

Agate · 08-07-2004, 07:19 PM

Thanks for sharing thats too funny.. I needed that tonight.

sunny98 · 08-07-2004, 11:36 PM

That is great! I have never seen it before but can relate to a lot of what is being said!

dogx3 · 08-08-2004, 08:13 PM

My dogs must have read this somewhere.

DaxAriel's toy · 08-08-2004, 08:21 PM

They teach it at puppy daycare I'm sure.

08-06-2004, 09:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
DaxAriel's toy Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Edmonton Alberta Canada Posts: 135 Rep Power: 0	Doggy Dictionary LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go. DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room. DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps. SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop. GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down. THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home. SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. LEAN: Every good dogs's response to the command "sit !", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events. BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea. GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require.....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above. LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return. __________________

08-06-2004, 09:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
Pugdawg1 Pug Mom Join Date: May 2004 Location: Elko, Nevada Posts: 2,418 Rep Power: 132	Hahaha... I like that. Too true!
	__________________ www.PugSavers.com

08-07-2004, 05:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
Taz Join Date: May 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 611 Rep Power: 92	Thats so true
	__________________ Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail. - Josh Billings

08-07-2004, 05:47 AM	#5 (permalink)
Lil'Paws ~w/Dachshund~ Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ~Western~NC~ Posts: 1,662 Rep Power: 114	Thanks for sharing DaxArielstoy..
	__________________ ~ Dachshund means Love ~

08-07-2004, 04:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
Slave2Jinx Pittbull/Rottweiler Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Central California (the Valley) Posts: 137 Rep Power: 78	LOL, how funny!
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08-06-2004, 10:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Rip's Girl Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Arizona Posts: 2,580 Rep Power: 138	Hehe, I love that. The "thunder" definition especially reminds me of how Buster used to be. (He's too old to care about the end of the world anymore.. )
	__________________

08-07-2004, 05:19 PM	#7 (permalink)
*Carrie* Super Moderator Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: north panhandle of Idaho Posts: 7,400 Rep Power: 279	Ha ha...that's cute. Thanks for sharing. Carrie
	__________________ Get more out of Global Paw. Check out these great features. Global Paw Book Club -- Art Classes -- Woof Review As a member of Global paw staff my opinions are not necessarily those of the website or the owner.

08-07-2004, 07:19 PM	#8 (permalink)
Agate Labrador Retriever Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 43 Rep Power: 75	Thanks for sharing thats too funny.. I needed that tonight.

08-07-2004, 11:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
sunny98 Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mt Vernon Wa Posts: 822 Rep Power: 95	That is great! I have never seen it before but can relate to a lot of what is being said!

08-08-2004, 08:13 PM	#10 (permalink)
dogx3 retriever happy Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: home Posts: 180 Rep Power: 80	My dogs must have read this somewhere.

08-08-2004, 08:21 PM	#11 (permalink)
DaxAriel's toy Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Edmonton Alberta Canada Posts: 135 Rep Power: 0	They teach it at puppy daycare I'm sure.

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