Short Story I wrote

[Ritz459]

I suppose that writing can be considered an art form, maybe? Anyways, this seemed like a suitable place for it. I wrote this short story a year or two ago and have posted it on here before, but finally got around to editing it this evening. I didn't change a lot, but I think it flows a bit better now. Just thought I'd re post it for the heck of it.

I wrote this while sitting in the back of an Algebra class and it all sort of came to me. I wrote about half of it in that sitting and then I wrote the rest of it in history class. LOL I would ask that no one copies it without giving me credit as the author.

Wolf Song

She ran. Her heart was pounding so violently she thought it would leap from her chest. Tree branches slapped her face and scraped along her skin, drawing blood. Weeds and underbrush seemed to stretch out and wrap around her feet, making her stumble. The light of the full moon slinked down among the trees, casting eerie shadows upon the forest floor. The cool night breeze rustled the leaves, causing the shadows to dance around her as if they were alive.

The sad drawl of a wolf sounded behind her, wafting through the trees. The howl changed from a sad lamentation to a song of excitement; it had caught a scent, its prey was near.

The woman gasped, willing her aching muscles to pump just a little faster, a little farther. The song of the wolf faded. As the last note was absorbed by the shadows a new wolf struck up the song. This one was close, very close. The prey they had found, the thing they were chasing…it was her.

A feeling of dread overcame her, her breath came in short gasps. She couldn't outrun them even if she did manage to keep going. Her chest felt as if it was going to split and her legs felt like streaks of fire were shooting through them. The first wolf rejoined the chorus, making the solo a duo. Their song picked up in tempo and ferocity, as if they sensed their prey was slowly giving up.

She stumbled, her legs unable to take the continuing abuse. The weeds preyed upon her sign of weakness, ensnaring her legs, casting her to the forest floor.
A faint cry escaped her lips as she fell. She knew that a single mistake in her flight could cost her life. She had just made that one mistake. The wolves had fallen silent; it wouldn't do to alert the prey.

She lifted herself off the ground, dirt and mulch clinging to her clothes. Her hands stung; raw from being scraped along the forest floor. She willed her aching muscles to once again start running. Her legs felt heavy as if they were carved of wood.
She took two unsteady steps forward, and then stopped abruptly, her body trembling. She prayed her eyes were playing tricks on her; that she hadn’t just seen the slinking shadow of a wolf.

She closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them again this would all just be some terrible night mare. A snarl tore through the air, the very leaves seeming to tremble with it. Her eyes popped open. Her nightmare was stalking towards her, the moonlight reflecting against its bared teeth, causing them to glimmer in the pale light. The breeze sent ripples through its thick fur, causing swirls of auburn and grey. Its hazel eyes held nothing human; it was purely beast, hunger and aggression.

She gasped, her eyes wide with fear, and stumbled backward, not daring to turn and run. Then a sudden chill went up her spine; she felt another pair of eyes on her. Slowly turning to the side, she looked behind her.

There was the second wolf, just as beautiful and terrifying as the first. Lighter in color, this one was smaller, perhaps a female. Its teeth were also bared into a snarl as it slowly advanced, its paws not making a sound on the twigs and weeds. A small cry escaped from the woman's lips as she whirled around. Her life seemed to flash before her eyes. Oh, the mistakes she had made. How she wished she could change them now.

A loud growl brought her mind back to the present. The smaller wolf had waited long enough. It came, a rush of fur and teeth lunging toward her throat. She threw her arm up to defend her neck. The oncoming predator slammed into her and latched onto her forearm, biting savagely. Its weight bore her to the ground. A scream escaped from her lips as another pair of carnivorous jaws tore into her right leg. The auborn wolf had waited long enough and had joined in on the hunt.

A scream escaped from her lips and as she lifted her free arm up drove her fingers into the smaller wolf’s eyes. It yelped and released her arm, pawing at its face in anguish as it backed away. The auburn wolf worried her leg like a bone and a sharp crack filled the air as her leg broke. Yelling another wordless curse, she used her left leg to kick at the wolf’s face. The wolf jumped back, her blood staining its teeth as it snarled, preparing to lunge again. The smaller wolf let out of echoing growl as it circled around, it’s left eye all but useless. It was wary, but it was only a matter of time before it attacked once again.

The woman’s arm and leg were screaming wounds of agony. Her vision blurred, black dots skittering across her sight. Thank God, she was going to pass out. Being eaten alive was not the way she had wanted to die.

As both wolves came towards her once more, a new sound filled the air. It wasn't any of the hellish sounds that had been surrounding her for the past few moments, but an eerie, mournful cry. The wolves froze, their hackles raised. The note came again, drawling out to reverberate around the forest. It sounded similar the wolves' hunting howl, but it had a different flavor to it. It seemed to sing of the night, of death and the loss of life, of the unnecessary suffering of the innocent. As it picked up pitch and fervor it reminded her of an ache for rebirth, for forgiveness, for second chances. The wolves backed up, there eyes showing white as they hunkered closer to the forest floor. Once more low, mournful cry flowed through the air and the wolves turned tail and ran, leaving only the woman's torn body and the bloodstained muddied ground as proof that they had been there.

The woman shuddered; she was going to die of blood loss if she didn't do something soon. She tried to move, but her vision swam and a blinding pain racked up her leg. She couldn’t feel her arm anymore. The noise was now quiet, as if it had never been. The only sound she could now hear was the quiet of the breeze through the trees, the night bugs, her heart pounding trying to keep her alive, and her labored breathing.

As she fought to stay conscious, a new sound reached her ears. The sound of large paws treading over the ground, coming straight towards her. The wolves had come back. But the large form that emerged from the trees put the two previous wolves to shame. It was a wolf, if wolves could be the size of a small pony. Its fur was a dark rich honey brown color that covered its entirety except for a white blaze running down its head to its shoulders. Whereas the other wolves had had no hint of humanity in their eyes, this wolf's piercing cornflower blue eyes showed intelligence beyond that of a beast.

She stared at it in wonder, its majestic presence chasing away all thoughts of fear. The wolf sniffed the air as if trying to decipher what had happened. It shifted its gaze to hers. Compassion seemed to float just behind its eyes and a low, comforting note escaped its muzzle.

It started to walk towards her, its gaze shifting to her wounds. Her vision blurred again, white and grey specks accompanying the black specks this time. Her head hurt and her breath was coming in short gasps. As the world around her dimmed, she faintly saw the wolf gracefully take the form of a man. He was boyishly slender, but even with her failing vision she could see his muscles rippling under his skin in the moonlight. He finished the walk towards her in a graceful glide, full of the predator that he had just changed from.

Trying to stay awake and sure she was hallucinating, she blearily saw the man lean over her and tear a piece of her shirt off to use as a tourniquet. His eyes met hers; they were the same corn flower blue that the wolves had been. He whispered to her in the same beautiful voice that had howled among the trees, "Everyone deserves a second chance. I'll get you to a doctor. Just hold on."

She wearily closed her eyes, her mind sheltering her from the pain, turning it into a dull throbbing. She felt her consciousness start to slip away and she accepted it, letting herself fall into the peaceful world of oblivion.

*********
The ambulance's and police car's sirens pierced through the air, wrecking the peaceful stillness of the night. The emergency vehicles' lights flashed round and round, seeming all the more artificial next to the perfect paleness of the moon's light.

That is all that humanity can do, thought a slender man with cornflower blue eyes. He stood off in the sheltering darkness of the tress, watching the EMTs jump out of the back of the machine and rush into the thick forest with a stretcher, police officers in tow. They didn't know that he was there. They can only just copy the miraculous works of nature.

He heard excited shouts coming from the woods as the EMTs found the body they had been looking for; an anonymous person had called and said that he had found a female victim suffering from wolf bites. That was why the police were here, although they didn't know if they were armed for wolf or deranged murderer. There had been reports of two rouge wolves, but this was the first attack. The police were suspicious, to say the least.

The man lifted his head and sniffed the air; the woman was still alive. A tension eased from his shoulders. Thanks to him, she would stay that way.

The EMTs and officers returned, carrying a body between them on the stretcher. The body was a woman, her right arm and leg mangled from wolf bites. The EMTs loaded her into the back of the ambulance, jumping in after her and shutting the doors so the vehicle could speed away into the night, its sirens wailing the emergency. The officers huddled in a circle talking quietly as one of them radioed in for Animal Control.

The man shifted his weight to his other foot as a snag of what the officers were saying drifted towards him.

"So they have no clue who made the call?"
"No. That is what made is so suspicious. Whatever phone they used couldn't be traced. Who the *heck* uses an untraceable phone? But whoever it was is responsible for saving that woman's life. He made a tourniquet to stop her bleeding. If he hadn't gotten there when he did, she would have bled to death by now."
"You know what I don’t understand though?"
"Besides why a woman was out in the woods alone, with no camping gear, at one o’clock in the morning, was happened upon by two rouge wolves, and then amazingly survived the attack?"
"That’s all weird, but I’ve seen weird *stuff* before. What I don’t understand is this: There were wolf prints all over that clearing back there, along with what looked to be her prints, but that was all. There weren't any other prints."
“So?"
"If someone bandaged her up, they would have had to leave prints behind. But there aren't any; just hers and those *flipping* wolves."
“Maybe we should get an investigative unit down here…”

The officers walked towards their cars, their conversation following them. A smirk crossed the man's face. Well, at least I'm not loosing my touch. Its bad taste for a werewolf to leave his prints behind. That wouldn't do at all.

The man turned and walked back into the woods that he had come from, the shadows making him invisible. As the night consumed him and he could no longer hear the crackle of the police radios, he ran, his heart pounding from the shear joy of the run. He flowed through the trees like liquid grace, avoiding every root and twig. The moonlight fell between the limbs of the trees causing shadows to dance in joy. And somewhere off in the distance, adding to the music of the night, was the song of a wolf.

Since I did just edit and touch it up a bit, if there is something that doesn't flow, please let me know. I'm half asleep at the moment. I had a couple of other ideas for a bit longer stories, but our computer crashed and I had nothing, absolutely nothing, saved on backup files (learned my lesson). I had luckly posted Wolf Song on a writers forum or it would have been lost too. So now I have a clean slate again and am trying to work up some new ideas.
I have some outlines on paper that I have to find for a story about a Fae and Elven war (I'm an urban fantasy nerd) and I'm going to make a grouping of short stories for my mom intiled, "Super Mom". I'm basically going to take things from her every day life and turn them into a superhero story. I already have some villans picked out....Migrain, Whiney Girl, Fluffy Dog (Chloe), Casey&Dameon (my ferrets), and the Evil Genius (me). I have the back story worked out, now I just need to get my characters straight and decide how I want the "series" end and I'll be good to go! Now we'll just see how long it takes me to actually do it, because if I'm not in the mood to write nothing comes to me.

[Shmee]

Good stuff Ritz!
I did manage to read the story at work on break last nite. Just acouple of minor things, not pick you apart, but you asked, so I'm answering

First,

The smaller wolf had waited long enough. It came, a rush of fur and teeth lunging toward her throat....

A sentence or 2 later you once again used, "had waited long enough" Kind of redundant, but easily fixable to, "The 2nd wolf knew it's time to strike had come.." Or something of the like?

K next... "Rouge" is makeup. A Rogue could be what you're going for here

Besides that it's a great quickie read!! If you have more stuff, please send or PM with an email so I can checkout what ya gots!! Both the wife and I proof for friends and family alike. (Well, ok, she is kind of the copyeditor at a graphics/copy office so she does it for a livin') It would be an honor if you need anything else read or just wanted somebody to bounce idea'rs off of...

Thanks for the oppurtunity!!

-Shmee

[Ritz459]

Originally Posted by Shmee

Good stuff Ritz!
I did manage to read the story at work on break last nite. Just acouple of minor things, not pick you apart, but you asked, so I'm answering

First, A sentence or 2 later you once again used, "had waited long enough" Kind of redundant, but easily fixable to, "The 2nd wolf knew it's time to strike had come.." Or something of the like?

K next... "Rouge" is makeup. A Rogue could be what you're going for here

Besides that it's a great quickie read!! If you have more stuff, please send or PM with an email so I can checkout what ya gots!! Both the wife and I proof for friends and family alike. (Well, ok, she is kind of the copyeditor at a graphics/copy office so she does it for a livin') It would be an honor if you need anything else read or just wanted somebody to bounce idea'rs off of...

Thanks for the oppurtunity!!

-Shmee

Haha, oops. That is why I shouldn't edit/rewrite when I'm tired...

And as for when I spell...I'll put the completely wrong word in and if spell check doesn't catch it I have a hard time catching it too. I've made lot of mistakes that way (much to my dismay on a couple of english papers..."But spell check said it was right!"). Thanks for the catch! Rogue was what I was going for.

I'll shoot more stuff your way when I have it...as I said, I'm starting from scratch all over again. I'm just glad this last outline I did was all on paper because i was bored during class. If I had done that on the computer I'd be sunk. From now on everything is backed up on floppy disks!

[Cassiepeia]

Andrea, you are going to make a great author!!! This story is fantastic, really grabs you and draws you in. Love it! I'd love to read the whole novel. Has the makings of a great and twisted love story.
You already know I'm an urban fantasy nut too. Hehehehe! I really have to start writing again. Work has put that on hold. Although I did write a kids book, but that's a different genre.
Anyhoo...LOVE your work. Hope you post more and yes...this is the perfect forum for writing.

Cass.

[Ritz459]

Originally Posted by Cassiepeia

Andrea, you are going to make a great author!!! This story is fantastic, really grabs you and draws you in. Love it! I'd love to read the whole novel. Has the makings of a great and twisted love story.
You already know I'm an urban fantasy nut too. Hehehehe! I really have to start writing again. Work has put that on hold. Although I did write a kids book, but that's a different genre.
Anyhoo...LOVE your work. Hope you post more and yes...this is the perfect forum for writing.

Cass.

Oooh, Cass, you got my creative juices flowing. I had intended Wolf Song to just be a stand alone peice, but.....maybe I could add on to it...hmmmmmm...*open's up Word*

[Swiftwind]

Great work Ritz, and writing is definitely an art form! It really helps to have fresh eyes read through your work, as someone can pick up on things you can't see (I notice that all the time with my work).

Just something I noticed, a slight repetition in the first few paragraphs:

Weeds and underbrush seemed to stretch out and wrap around her feet, making her stumble. The light of the full moon slinked down among the trees, casting eerie shadows upon the forest floor.

The weeds preyed upon her sign of weakness, ensnaring her legs, casting her to the forest floor.

You previously mentioned the weeds tangling around the woman's feet, and I'm not sure it needs to be repeated, as the reader is already aware this has happened. Also, I would suggest another word be used in the second quoted sentence to replace 'casting... forest floor'.

Hope those tips help!

[Ritz459]

Thanks! Everything definitally helps, especially fresh eyes. I used to try and get my siblings to read it through and see if they could spot anything, but seeing as how their grammer and word usage isn't very good at all, I've stopped doing that. LOL