Coping With The Death Of Your Pet

[flyndog]

http://www.deltasociety.org/dsn000.htm

[Carrie]

Thank you Kit for putting that website up. I think that would be a good thing when we come to that time where we lose our pet.

[flyndog]

There are some helpful links there. I'd hope it doesn't get buried too deep in the forum to be of any help.

[Carrie]

I hope not too. I think it would be something that someone could do a search on and find again. It's great.

[Crossfire Bulldogs]

People love their pets and consider them members of their family: Caregivers celebrate their pets' birthdays, confide in their animals, and carry pictures of them in their wallets. So when your beloved pet dies, it's not unusual to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your sorrow. But understanding how you grieve and finding ways to cope with your loss can bring you closer to the day when memories bring smiles instead of tears.

What is the grief process?

The grief process is as individual as the person, lasting days for one person or years for another. The process typically begins with denial, which offers protection until individuals can realize their loss. Some caregivers may try bargaining with a higher power, themselves, or even their pet to restore life. Some feel anger, which may be directed at anyone involved with the pet, including family, friends, and veterinarians. The caregivers may also feel guilt about what they did or did not do, and may feel that it is inappropriate to be so upset. After these feelings subside, the caregivers experience true sadness or grief. In their depression, caregivers may withdraw. Acceptance occurs when they accept the reality of their loss and remember their animal companion with decreasing sadness. Remember, not everyone follows these classic stages of grief some may skip or repeat a stage, or experience the stages in a different order.

How can I cope with my grief?

While grief is a personal experience, a caregiver need not face this loss alone. Many forms of support are available, including pet bereavement counseling services, pet-loss support hotlines, local or on-line Internet bereavement groups, books, videos, and magazine articles. Here are a few suggestions to help you cope:

Acknowledge your grief and give yourself permission to express it.
Don't hesitate to reach out to others who can lend a sympathetic ear.
Write about your feelings, either in a journal or a poem.
Call your local humane society to see whether it offers a pet-loss support group or can refer you to one. You may also want to consider calling a pet-loss hotline for support.
Explore the Internet for pet-loss support groups and coping information.
Prepare a memorial for your pet.


What can I do for my child?

The loss of a pet may be a child's first experience with death. The child may blame himself, his parents, or the veterinarian for not saving the pet. And he may feel guilty, depressed, and frightened that others he loves may be taken from him. Trying to protect your child by saying the pet ran away could cause your child to expect the pet's return and feel betrayed after discovering the truth. Expressing your own grief may reassure your child that sadness is okay and help him work through his feelings.

Is the process more difficult if I'm a senior?

Coping with the loss of a pet can be particularly hard for seniors. Those who live alone may feel a loss of purpose and an immense emptiness. The pet's death may also trigger painful memories of other losses and remind caregivers of their own mortality. What's more, the decision to get another pet is complicated by the possibility that the pet may outlive the caregiver, and hinges on the person's physical and financial ability to care for a new pet.

For all these reasons, it's critical that senior pet owners take immediate steps to cope with their loss and regain a sense of purpose. If you are a senior, try interacting with friends and family, calling a pet-loss support hotline, even volunteering at a local humane society. If you know seniors in this situation, direct them to this Web page and guide them through the difficult grieving process.

Will my other pets grieve?

Surviving pets may whimper, refuse to eat or drink, and suffer lethargy, especially if they had a close bond with the deceased pet. Even if they were not the best of friends, the changing circumstances and your emotional state may distress them. Give surviving pets lots of TLC ("tender loving care") and try to maintain a normal routine. It's good for them and for you.

Should I get another pet?

Rushing into this decision isn't fair to you or your new pet. Each animal has his own unique personality and a new animal cannot replace the one you lost. You'll know when the time is right to adopt a new pet after giving yourself time to grieve, carefully considering the responsibilities of pet ownership, and paying close attention to your feelings. When you are ready, remember that your local animal shelter is a great place to find your next special friend.


Support Hotlines


Colorado State University
970-491-1242
Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, 9 am-5 pm; Wednesday, 9 am-noon

Cornell University
607-253-3932
Tuesday, Wednesday,Thursday, 6-9 pm

Iowa State University
888-478-7574
Monday-Friday, 6-9 pm

Louisiana State University
225-346-5710
Best Friend Gone Project
Monday-Friday, 8-4:30 pm

Michigan State University
517-432-2696
Veterinary students volunteer
Tuesday-Thursday, 6:30-9:30 pm

Ohio State University
614-292-1823
Veterinary students volunteer
Monday, Wednesday, Friday 6:30-9:30 pm

Tufts University
508-839-7966
Veterinary students volunteer
Monday-Friday, 6-9 pm

University of California-Davis
916-752-4200
Veterinary students volunteer
Monday-Friday, 6:30-9:30 pm

University of Florida-Gainesville
352-392-4700 ext. 4080
Veterinary students volunteer
Weekdays, 7-9 pm

University of Illinois CARE Helpline
217-244-2273
Tuesday & Thursday, 7-9 pm

University of Pennsylvania-Philadelphia
215-898-4529

University of Minnesota
(612) 624-4747

Virginia-Maryland Regional College of Veterinary Medicine
540-231-8038
Tuesday & Thursday, 6-9 pm

Washington State University
509-335-5704
Monday-Thursday, 6:30-9 pm; Saturday, 1-3 pm

[minpinsrock]

Thanks Crossfire!

[Purr]

Aaawww...thanks Crossfire! My ferret passed away yesterday...

[Crossfire Bulldogs]

I'm so very sorry Purr Hugs to you

[Purr]

Thanks, Sonja! It means so much...!!

[Carrie]

Thanks Sonja. That is very good and helpful to recognize what's going on.