I Put My Baby Down Yesterday

[yoiesmama]

I'm not sure if this is the forum to put this in but i really need to talk to someone now. i put down my 14 year old american eskimo zoe yesterday. she had paralysis in her hind legs for about a year and she was in diapers (her pretty panties)and was still doing well. she began losing weight, she went from 25 pounds 4 years ago to 14.7 yesterday. she had lost 2 1/2 pounds since september. she had a stroke about a year ago and progressively got worse. she got to the point that she couldnt eat right. it took her 10-15 minutes to eat a piece of food at times. this is why she lost weight and why we finally had her put down. my problem is that when i went yesterday to the vet she was so happy. i had to change her pretty panties right before we left and she always gets so happy when she has her panties changed. i cant get it out of my mind. i feel so terrible that i had her put down. she kept looking at me at the vet with those smiling eyes that said "come on mama, lets go home and cuddle on the couch now". i cant stand it. i hate myself for putting her down and i miss her so much. she was my little baby and i love her so much. i dont know if i did the right thing. im really second guessing myself and im really feeling guilty and horrible for not just taking her home. i feel like ive killed my ailing child. im sorry to dump on all of you. i just feel so horrible and i cant stop crying. i miss her so very much. my heart is completely broken.

[Beryl]

Zoe was a lucky dog. She was love deeply and given the chance to love.

Love means doing what is right for your companion. Zoe loved you as you helped her out of her discomfort. You've relieved her pain.

This is a hard time for you right now and it is OK for you to grieve over your loss.

[yoiesmama]

thank you for responding beryl. i am so very sad. i just need someone to talk to about this. i feel like i went too soon. like she still wanted to live.

[shaerenae]

I totally agree with Beryl...you did what you did out of compassion and love. Zoe was probably trying to be "happy and strong" for you, because she loved you so much. I know animals can sense how we feel, and try to cheer us up when they know we are sad. Letting our loved ones go is the hardest part of being a pet owner, but the time comes when we have to do what we know is right in our hearts. You did the right thing, hon.

It's ok to grieve right now, but remember the happy times that you and Zoe shared.

Hugs to you!

Take care,
Sherilyn

[KennelMom]

I know what you are going through...I've had to help two of my babies to the Bridge. Both were very old and their quality of life had declined to an unacceptable point. All of our companions deserve to live pain-free and with dignity. Since we've removed so much of mother nature from their lives, sadly we are often forced to play that role.

Here's a site that helped me tremendously as we made the decision to put Star down (the first dog I've ever had to make the decision for): http://pet-loss.net/

Take comfort in knowing that you gave your baby a good life full of love and friendship. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Shadowkins]

My deepest sympathy on the loss of your faithful companion. You gave her the greatest gift...LOVE, I'm sure it is never easy to know when the time comes but I commend you on the depth of your devotion to end her suffering.
She will always be in your heart!

[yoiesmama]

thank you all so much for your heartfelt words. i miss my yoie so much. she was truely my baby girl. i know in my mind that what i did was the right thing for her but in my heart i wish i would have turned around and brought her home and loved on her more. i miss her so very very much. my heart is so very very broken.

[Annandael]

I'm sorry for your loss...I could only imagine what it will be like when I have to let my Kiya go. Hopefully I still have another 15 years or so as she's only 3.

Basenji kisses to you from the Annandael gang.

[12weimgirl]

I know how you feel.... I had to put my great dane down and she was the best dog ever........

[linnie]

It is the hardest thing for anyone of us to have to do
But your Zoe was one of the truly lucky girls to be owned by someone who loved her more than they loved themselves.
The true test of love comes when we do what is right for our loved one, you did thid, please dont fill yourself with doubts, The very fact that you cared for her through many other issues showed that your heart was aching for her.
6 Months ago I faced the same heartbreaking decision, my beautiful Chloe isnt suffering anymore but my heart still aches.

Zoe must have been a wonderful girl. R.I.P. Sweetheart

[angie]

im sorry to here about zoe. she was a lucky dog. she had a family who loved her so. im sure she was a happy dog.

[Pearlulm]

You shouldn't beat yourself up so much. I know that it is hard to make the dicision to put a pet to sleep. (I've had to do it twice.) It sounds like she had gone through a lot of pain and discomfort in the past year or so. You gave her a loving home and should remember the good times and smiile. I heard something (I think on Dr Phil) about people but the same goes for animals and that is that you should celebrate their lives not their deaths.

[ColColt]

At the risk of sounding like a familiar president, I can truthfully say, yoiesmama, I feel your pain and it wasn't that long ago-right before Thanksgiving. I've never felt such pain...even over family passing on. Hard to explain, but; you know what I mean. I hope peace will surround you soon and that joy may once again brighten your day. It's very difficult, I know.

Those that have lost pets like this 2-4 times...I don't know how you take that as once was enough for me.

BTW-Be glad you had her 14 years. My Katie was only two and a half.

[yoiesmama]

thank you everyone for talking with me. i really need it right now.

colcolt, i have 5 more dogs. im terrified that something will happen to one of them now. this truly is horrible. im sorry for your loss. i know exactly what you felt . its so terrible.

[Elli]

so very sorry about your loss....i lost my 2o year old cat boomer about a month and a half ago and now my 7 yr old hasnt been doing well since boomer past. i think he is sad i am afraid of losing him now too.